Little 5 Points
by viktories
Summary: Non-ZA AU. Caryl nerdvana. Software development, gaming (video, tabletop), geek culture. Rated for foul language, sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: This is my anti-Negan story, one of the AUs I had to write to get away from "The Man With The Bat" else I sink into a pit of despair. It's a Caryl geekfest... If you think I'm exaggerating, well, there's a D &D game in a later chapter. _

_Timestamped is Google Hangouts_

 _[[ ]] and italics = SMS/texting_

 _Group chat is Facebook Messenger._

 _Disclaimer: Not my circus, not my monkeys! I don't own these characters, I'm just going to make them do really nerdy things._

* * *

09:03:08 AM DDixon: Carol.

09:03:10 AM CPeletier: Mornin' sunshine!  
09:03:23 AM DDixon: Carol.  
09:04:06 AM CPeletier: Daryl.  
09:04:12 AM DDixon: Carol.  
09:04:31 AM CPeletier: What?  
09:05:42 AM DDixon: Carol.  
09:06:02 AM CPeletier: /sigh

09:07:10 AM DDixon: Carol.

09:07:54 AM CPeletier: ...

09:09:23 AM DDixon: Where have you been all my life?  
09:12:45 AM CPeletier: Waiting for you to say something.  
09:13:10 AM DDixon: Something.  
09:16:59 AM CPeletier: /smh so lame. Kinda busy here. Code is not self-generating. Use your words.

09:17:34 AM DDixon: Code will write itself once you create our AI overlord.  
09:19:54 AM CPeletier: That's at least two years out. And stop talking about the Overlordvay or you'll be replaced with a robit.  
09:20:14 AM DDixon: You wouldn't be the first woman to replace me with something mechanical.  
09:20:43 AM CPeletier: BWAHAHAHAHAHA  
09:20:48 AM CPeletier: /wipes tears

09:22:07 AM CPeletier: well played. But I doubt that…  
09:22:46 AM DDixon: Awwww. You flirtin' with me, Peletier?  
09:24:12 AM CPeletier: not at all. That would be inappropriate. ...unless it helps to keep that ticket clearance up?

09:25:55 AM DDixon: Is that all I am to you? Testing monkey?  
09:26:12 AM DDixon: you break my heart.

09:26:20 AM DDixon: im a broken man

09:26:32 AM DDixon: a shell of a man

09:28:43 AM DDixon: you are heartless, you don't even care

09:30:14 AM DDixon: pay attention to me!

09:34:27 AM CPeletier: pff. I'm sure you get plenty of attention. I've seen the pictures.  
09:36:49 AM DDixon: PFFFF. And not fair. I don't have any pictures of you.  
09:42:54 AM CPeletier: That's because camera lenses can't capture my image. It looks like a blurry flash of light. It's weird, I know, but gramma always said you hook up with one demon at a satanic orgy and this is what happens…  
09:43:17 AM DDixon: …go on.  
09:43:58 AM CPeletier: ?  
09:46:21 AM DDixon: Oh, sorry. All I read was cameras, hook up, and orgy. I thought you were gonna tell me about your weekend.  
09:47:43 AM CPeletier: PFFFFFFFFFFF  
09:50:34 AM DDixon: pictures or it didn't happen  
09:52:55 AM CPeletier: ooops! Gotta run. Meeting…  
09:57:43 AM DDixon: Liar.

Carol clicked her status icon to Away and sat back. Her face was flushed, and she couldn't seem to stop smiling. It was a common thing whenever she chatted with Daryl. It was also…problematic.

08:02:06 AM DDixon: carol.

08:05:43 AM CPeletier: daryl.

08:07:36 AM DDixon: you never call, you never write

08:08:14 AM CPeletier: you don't bring me flowers anymore?

08:08:34 AM DDixon: ?

08:08:58 AM DDixon: when did i bring you flowers?

08:10:03 AM CPeletier: its an old song.

08:11:16 AM DDixon: oh. Don't know it.

08:11:47 AM CPeletier: clearly.

08:14:52 AM DDixon: do you want flowers? I can get you flowers.

08:15:48 AM CPeletier: by 3 o'clock this afternoon, with nail polish?

08:16:02 AM DDixon: did you just quote Lebowski?

08:16:24 AM CPeletier: no.

08:16:51 AM DDixon: yes you did, jerkface

08:17:03 AM CPeletier: ...jerkface?

08:17:10 AM DDixon: you heard me.

08:17:35 AM CPeletier: did you need something or are you just harassing me?

08:17:41 AM DDixon: oh so much

08:17:53 AM CPeletier: something I might actually be able to do?

08:17:59 AM DDixon: OH SO MUCH

08:18:08 AM CPeletier: something i might actually do for YOU?

08:18:25 AM DDixon: ouch.

08:18:41 AM DDixon: who am I kidding? You'd do anything for me.

08:18:47 AM CPeletier: mmhmm

08:18:55 AM DDixon: you know I'm right

08:19:03 AM CPeletier: mmhmm

08:19:37 AM DDixon: face it, Peletier, you think I'm awesome

08:19:43 AM CPeletier: mmhmm

08:19:51 AM DDixon: you think I'm AMAZING

08:20:00 AM CPeletier: eh. You're alright

08:20:04 AM DDixon: OH!

08:20:28 AM DDixon: you wound me.

08:22:56 AM CPeletier: meeting time, jerkface

08:23:49 AM DDixon: …

02:48:34 PM CPeletier: …

02:49:02 PM DDixon: ← smug

02:49:06 PM CPeletier: i can't believe you

02:49:15 PM DDixon: did they get the card right?

02:49:49 PM CPeletier: it says "Nail polish. Sincerely, Jerkface"

02:50:12 PM DDixon: worth every penny.

02:53:00 PM CPeletier: how did you know I love tulips?

02:53:47 PM DDixon: you told me once. Mind like a steel trap.

02:54:36 PM CPeletier: you made me tear up a little

02:54:40 PM DDixon: what? For real?

02:55:10 PM CPeletier: yeah. Never got flowers before.

02:55:12 PM DDixon: ?

02:55:17 PM DDixon: not even Valentine's Day?

02:56:57 PM CPeletier: nope

02:57:09 PM DDixon: …

02:59:24 PM DDixon: glad im your first ;)

03:00:12 PM CPeletier: jerkface

They'd been working together for a few years, she was the lead programmer on her project and he came on as a QA tester. And he was GOOD, his attention to detail was beyond compare, and he seemed to have the patience of Job when it came to stepping through testing scripts. Since he started working with her, her project had the fewest bugs at release of any app in the history of the company, and because problems were getting caught so early, BEFORE they broke other things, she didn't have to spend all her time playing catch-up on bad code. She could try new things, innovate, build features that they'd only dreamed of during early iterations and road mapping, and clients noticed. Sales went up, and she was suddenly the Golden Child, but she made damn sure that her entire team got credit for their accomplishments. And, for the first and only time in her career — at this job or anywhere else — Carol made it a stipulation in her contract that no one on her team could be moved to another project unless it was by their request, including support and the QA testers. That was unheard of, and she had to fight like hell at first to get them to agree to it since testers were a hot commodity, and GOOD testers even more rare, but the numbers didn't lie and the VP of Sales played the PNL card and told her boss "whatever she wants, just give it to her." The end result? Until Daryl got bored or a better offer came along, she had her own pocket testing monkey.

11:46:56 AM DDixon: Carol.

11:47:22 AM CPeletier: Daryl.

11:47:48 AM DDixon: im bored

11:48:02 AM CPeletier: ?

11:48:09 AM CPeletier: with your job? With this project? Do you want to move to another project?

11:49:26 AM DDixon: NO! Jeez. With this ticket. Give me something a little more challenging.

11:49:47 AM CPeletier: oh. Workin on it.

11:50:34 AM DDixon: gawd. Overreact much?

11:52:48 AM CPeletier: thought you wanted to leave me :(

11:52:57 AM DDixon: never.

11:53:09 AM DDixon: dont be stupid

11:53:38 AM CPeletier: YOU ARE

11:53:56 AM DDixon: good one. Real mature.

Professionally, they were a perfect match, had been since day one. The first couple tickets she got from him were so detailed and thorough that she could pinpoint exactly where the problem was in over 10,000 lines of code for that module, and was able to fix it in less than an hour. It was something that could have very easily gone on for weeks, particularly if it had hit production and live data had been involved, and she sent an email to him that cc'd his boss thanking him. She got back a "heh, just doing my job" in reply, the email equivalent of a blush and "aww shucks, ma'am," and after that they were buddies.

It wasn't long before ticket comments and emails turned into chat — it's just so much faster — and then company chat was too restrictive and they were exchanging personal handles.

02:12:03 PM Ezio-DD: Carol? Testing, testing, testing.  
02:12:23 PM SofiaLamb: It's ME! It's ME!  
02:12:31 PM Ezio-DD: heh. Had to look up the name, knew I recognized it.  
02:13:47 PM Ezio-DD: you know she's the bad guy, right?  
02:13:57 PM SofiaLamb: pff. Whatever, *assassin*?  
02:14:29 PM Ezio-DD: :D knew I liked you…  
02:15:28 PM Ezio-DD: Very important question. Vitally important.  
02:15:49 PM SofiaLamb: Ok. Shoot.  
02:15:57 PM Ezio-DD: XBox or PS3?  
02:17:23 PM SofiaLamb: I was half tempted to fuck with you and say PC, but really, why's it gotta be either or?  
02:17:56 PM Ezio-DD: will you marry me?  
02:19:12 PM SofiaLamb: …  
02:19:31 PM SofiaLamb: sorry. Taken.  
02:19:56 PM Ezio-DD: for real?  
02:20:33 PM SofiaLamb: yep. Six years next month.  
02:21:58 PM Ezio-DD: motherfucker.  
02:23:37 PM SofiaLamb: :( sorry. Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?  
02:26:09 PM Ezio-DD: not at all. We can be friends. But you've broken my heart

02:26:37 PM SofiaLamb: teehee. If it's any consolation, he only plays Halo and CoD, so we'll always have Left 4 Dead. Lie back and think of killing zombies…  
02:28:12 PM Ezio-DD: okay, three things.  
02:28:43 PM Ezio-DD: First, don't tease me, woman. L4D, Friday, 8pm, you WILL be my player 2.  
02:28:50 PM SofiaLamb: HAH. More like you'll be MY player 2…  
02:28:57 PM Ezio-DD: …  
02:29:13 PM Ezio-DD: Know what? I think I'm okay with being your player 2. But don't go tellin anyone.  
02:29:47 PM SofiaLamb: your secret is safe.  
02:30:14 PM Ezio-DD: next, promise me you'll never play L4D with anyone but me.  
02:30:56 PM SofiaLamb: we haven't even played yet and we're gonna be exclusive? Goes both ways, you know.  
02:32:15 PM Ezio-DD: I'm not afraid of commitment.  
02:32:43 PM SofiaLamb: okay then. I promise. You'll always be my player 2. :)  
02:34:23 PM Ezio-DD: :) and finally, you are waaaaaay naughtier outside company chat. I like it. ;)  
02:34:57 PM SofiaLamb: What? LIES. I said nothing naughty. Sassy, maybe.  
02:36:04 PM Ezio-DD: "Lie back and think of killing zombies…"  
02:36:43 PM SofiaLamb: that's not naughty, that's just solid advice. Everyone needs a zombie plan.  
02:37:34 PM Ezio-DD: mmhmm. So if I logged on tomorrow and told you all about how I was lying on my bed, thinking about "killing zombies" with you, that'd be perfectly innocent?  
02:39:45 PM SofiaLamb: …yes?  
02:40:57 PM Ezio-DD: And how I was thinking about you with that pump-action shotgun with the big spread…  
02:41:12 PM SofiaLamb: Jesus, Daryl. Point made. And you've got a dirty, dirty mind.  
02:41:35 PM Ezio-DD: what? It's the best weapon in the game!  
02:42:12 PM SofiaLamb: lol. You're kind of a jerk, Dixon.  
02:43:23 PM Ezio-DD: Nuh-uh. I'm a tease. Get it right.  
02:43:52 PM SofiaLamb: noted.  
02:47:02 PM SofiaLamb: not fair teasing the old married lady  
02:47:10 PM Ezio-DD: not gonna play fair. ;)  
02:47:18 PM SofiaLamb: Daryl.  
02:47:27 PM Ezio-DD: What?  
02:47:35 PM SofiaLamb: Stop.  
02:47:44 PM Ezio-DD: Stop what?  
02:47:56 PM SofiaLamb: you know what.  
02:48:12 PM Ezio-DD: a boy can dream, can't he?  
02:48:24 PM SofiaLamb: exactly. You're what, all of 22?  
02:48:32 PM Ezio-DD: …  
02:48:40 PM Ezio-DD: I'm 25.  
02:55:09 PM SofiaLamb: and I'm 34. And married. And I need to be the grown up here and put some brakes on the flirting. I love working with you. I love talking to you. I consider you a good friend. But this is hugging the line if not going over, and it's making me uncomfortable. I don't want to have to stop talking to you. Okay?  
02:56:23 PM Ezio-DD: I'll agree to whatever terms you want, whatever boundaries you want to set, if you answer one question.  
02:57:00 PM SofiaLamb: you can ask, I can't guarantee I'll answer  
02:57:34 PM Ezio-DD: fair enough.  
02:57:46 PM SofiaLamb: what's your question?  
03:03:09 PM Ezio-DD: is it making you uncomfortable because you don't like what I'm saying or because you do?  
03:09:45 PM SofiaLamb: …  
03:10:04 PM Ezio-DD: that's not an answer  
03:10:23 PM SofiaLamb: that's not a fair question  
03:10:57 PM Ezio-DD: told you I'm not gonna play fair  
03:12:43 PM SofiaLamb: and I told you I'm not going to play at all.  
03:14:59 PM Ezio-DD: are we having our first fight?  
03:15:43 PM SofiaLamb: /sigh  
03:15:51 PM SofiaLamb: yeah, I think we are.  
03:16:32 PM Ezio-DD: does that mean…  
03:17:46 PM Ezio-DD: …makeup sex?  
03:18:02 PM SofiaLamb: OMG DARYL CUT IT OUT  
03:18:19 PM Ezio-DD: :( m'sorry  
03:18:55 PM Ezio-DD: I can't help it. I don't seem to be able to filter myself with you. And I can't usually talk to women at all, let alone like this.

03:21:24 PM SofiaLamb: bullshit  
03:21:45 PM Ezio-DD: it's true  
03:21:53 PM SofiaLamb: BULLSHIT  
03:25:58 PM Ezio-DD: I'm not sure where you got this impression of me, but I'm a geek. A nerd. I spend all day testing software and all night playing video games. On the weekends, if I'm lucky, I spend all day and all night in the woods, alone. I occasionally go to the movies or maybe the bar with my brother, but believe me when I say that I do NOT fit in with that crowd. So yeah, I'm not exactly smooth with the ladies.  
03:30:02 PM SofiaLamb: Since we're putting our cards on the table here, I'm a nerd who spends all day writing software and all night doing boring grown-up stuff, wishing it was video games. Weekends are much of the same. Been married almost six years. Have a house, two cars, no pets or kids. My life isn't very exciting.  
03:31:37 PM SofiaLamb: and I'm calling bullshit on you because I've seen your picture. Daryl, you're HOT. I don't believe for a second that you don't have women crawling all over you all the time.  
03:32:43 PM Ezio-DD: Huh? What picture?  
03:34:17 PM SofiaLamb: Intranet. The Client Services retreat pictures.  
03:34:47 PM Ezio-DD: meh  
03:37:59 PM SofiaLamb: That IS you in the hat, right? The one who tripped and fell and had his sleeves torn off?  
03:38:14 PM Ezio-DD: …  
03:38:26 PM Ezio-DD: yeah. That's me.  
03:38:34 PM SofiaLamb: mmhmm.  
03:38:42 PM SofiaLamb: HOT.  
03:39:16 PM Ezio-DD: quit objectifyin' me, woman. I'm not just a pretty face!  
03:39:36 PM SofiaLamb: Oh, I'm aware. You're the whole package…  
03:39:52 PM SofiaLamb: fuck. Sorry. Shouldn't have said that.  
03:41:14 PM Ezio-DD: nah, you can keep talking about my package, it's fine. Got an answer to my question at least.  
03:41:46 PM SofiaLamb: shut up  
03:41:56 PM Ezio-DD: nope. :)  
03:42:28 PM SofiaLamb: wow. You know how they say conversations in chat lack nuance and social cues? Never thought I'd see a single word ooze so much smugness.

They had their first "date" playing Left 4 Dead that Friday, and it was the most fun she'd had in years. He said the same thing, and they played again the next Friday but he invited his roommate, Glenn, into the party and even though she was a little sad that their jokes about exclusivety weren't true, she still had more fun than she felt she had any right to have. It became a standing thing, and the group got bigger — some of Daryl's co-workers that she only knew by name, over in QA and support, and some of their friends from other places, even some other women which made her incredibly happy. But what mattered was that Friday nights at 8 it was always her and Daryl partnered up in some form or fashion, playing something together whether it was L4D, Team Fortress 2, or Saint's Row. Unspoken, understood, a standing date for over a year. Until it wasn't.

The first Friday that he didn't login at regular time, she didn't think much of it. Things happen, he was just running late. When it was 9:30 and he still hadn't logged in, she got worried. She broke her own cardinal rule and asked Glenn if everything, was alright, and she knew immediately by Glenn's hesitation, his tone of voice, that Daryl was out on a date. She knew, logically, that this would happen eventually, had thought she was prepared for it, but the spike of pain in her gut made it clear that thinking she was ready and actually being ready were two different things. Glenn mumbled something about him being "out" and it took all of her years of experience of pretending everything is just fine to pull off her response of "Oh! That's fantastic! I'm so glad to hear that."

She logged off early that night and turned off her phone — somehow she had developed a throbbing headache — and didn't see Daryl's text until the next morning. It came in at 11:30, telling her he was online if she was around, he'd heard she wasn't feeling well, etc. She didn't answer it at first, so sick with jealousy that it scared her, and indulged herself in a good wallow in misery while Ed snored away next to her having stumbled in drunk at 3am. She didn't need the glitter or reek of cheap perfume to know he'd been at the strip club, that was pretty much standard operating procedure when he was out with his "friends."

She had no right to be jealous. She had no rights at all. She was the one who was tied down, not him. He was young and single and attractive, and of course he would meet someone. She had no claim on him, and hell, even if she was single herself that didn't mean a damn thing. They might have flirted, might have expressed some inappropriate feelings at one point, but it was crazy to think that was anything but a moment in time, an online flirtation that went too far sometimes but not something that would ever actually happen irl. The reality was that she was significantly older than him when it came down to it, her life experiences had damaged and aged her beyond her chronological years, and she was no prize for anyone let alone a man like Daryl. He deserved better. Better than her, better than her life and the baggage that came with it. Just...better.

If nothing else, she was an adult, and she could suck it up and not muddy things up again, not introduce anything that would complicate their friendship or work relationship.

 _CP: [[ Had my phone turned off, had a headache. This week has been rough. As you know. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Heard you had a hot date though. :) GOOD! You need to get out more. ]]_

It was still really early so she was surprised when she got a response back right away.

 _DD: [[ That what you heard? A "hot date"? Wouldn't go that far… ]]_

 _CP: [[ Dunno, maybe I just wanted to live vicariously through my young, single, HOT friend. ;) ]]_

 _CP: [[ Don't ruin it for me, I need to think someone is out there gettin' strange. ]]_

 _DD: [[ so you'd be okay with that? With me "gettin' strange"? ]]_

 _CP: [[ I want you to be happy. ]]_

 _DD: [[ you didn't answer my question ]]_

 _CP: [[ I'm okay with whatever makes you happy. Even if it's hookers and blow. ]]_

 _DD: [[ and you think fucking some bar whore would make me happy? ]]_

 _CP: [[ well, you are a man… ]]_

 _DD: [[ That's a really fucked up thing to say Carol. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Poor choice of words, okay? I was trying to make a joke. ]]_

 _DD: [[ well it isn't funny ]]_

 _CP: [[ Sorry. So how was your date? ]]_

 _DD: [[ … ]]_

 _CP: [[ is it anyone I know? Someone from work? ]]_

 _CP: [[ oooo, is it that new chick in support? Tyra? Tara? Something like that. ]]_

 _DD: [[ No, it isn't Tara. She's been in the XBL group for the past few weeks but you apparently didn't notice. Including last night. ]]_

 _CP: [[ ...are you mad at me? ]]_

 _DD: [[ no ]]_

 _DD: [[ yes. ]]_

 _DD: [[ fuck, I don't know. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I'm sorry ]]_

 _DD: [[ for what? ]]_

 _CP: [[ whatever I said that made you so angry. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I hate when you do that, when you apologize for shit that you didn't do. You don't even know what you're apologizing for, but here you are. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I'm sorry for being sorry? ]]_

 _DD: [[ Just...stop. I'm going hunting. No reception. I'll talk to you Monday. ]]_

 _CP: [[ k ]]_

Something changed with him then, whatever it was that made him angry didn't go away, it didn't get better with time, but there was no way to go backwards and resolve it. By the time Monday rolled around, it was too late, the distance between them had become fixed in place. They both tried to act like nothing was wrong but something was wrong. She didn't know how to talk to him anymore outside of work, and anything she said seemed to piss him off, and her feeling of desperation and hopelessness as one of the most important relationships in her life crumbled around her was causing her to sink into despair. For so long he had been the bright spot in her life, and when he became cold toward her it made her withdraw even more from him. She'd always just been waiting for him to come to his senses about spending so much time with her anyway, so this feeling of inevitability kept her from fighting to keep him close. She had no right to his time or his attention, and no expectation of it, and he seemed to be just fine with that. He missed more and more Fridays, and the disappointment was so much that sometimes she just didn't bother getting online. She couldn't handle if he wasn't there, but she also couldn't stomach the distance between them if he was, the great chasm that had formed that she had no way to bridge.

It was one of those Fridays where she didn't bother getting online. Ed was out with his friends and she was tired and headachey after a long week of problems with work and walking on eggshells with Daryl — when he even talked to her at all — and just generally feeling like the world was against her. After she got home from work, she immediately changed into pajamas and curled up on the couch with a bowl of cereal for dinner and her laptop. She wouldn't be on XBox Live tonight, but that didn't mean she couldn't play something, and she wanted to try some new DLC for Civ V. It wasn't her favorite Civ game, but maybe this release would help. Her phone vibrated the S.O.S. code and she knew she had a text from Daryl.

 _DD: [[ where are you? ]]_

 _CP: [[ at home, on my couch. In Michigan. United States. Planet Earth._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ why aren't you online?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ not up to it tonight. Sorry._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ why not?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ just not feeling it, okay? I'm sorry that you finally chose to grace me with your presence and I'm not there for it, but shit happens._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ what's that supposed to mean? "Grace me with your presence"?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ nothing. Forget it._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ no, I want to know what you mean._ _]]_

 _CP: [[ I said forget it. I'm not going to be online tonight. Sorry. Maybe next week. Now let it go._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ what the fuck is your problem?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ seriously?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ are you really asking me that?_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ yeah. What the fuck is your problem? You're being a raging bitch_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ you're joking, right? This is a joke. Haha very funny. You got me good. You've barely spoken to me in months and that makes me a bitch? Seriously, I'm surprised this conversation has even lasted this long, usually you are loooong gone by now._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ bullshit._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ well, maybe._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ you just make me so MAD_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ I want to talk to you, I do, but then I remember what you said and it just makes me so mad I want to punch something so I can't._ _]]_

 _CP: [[ WHAT DID I SAY? YOU'VE NEVER TOLD ME WHAT I SAID THAT WAS SO AWFUL. MAYBE IF I KNEW I COULD FIX THINGS_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ STOP YELLING AT ME_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ Daryl, what did I say that pissed you off so much that you stopped being my friend?_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ I didn't stop being your friend._ _]]_

 _CP: [[ YES YOU DID_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ no, i didn't. Did you stop being my friend?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ If i did, it wasn't because I wanted to. But you dont' seem to ever want me around or want to talk to me, so I stopped trying._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ i want you around._ _]]_

 _CP: [[ I don't believe you._ _]]_

 _CP:_ _[[_ _Look, it's okay if you don't. I'm a big girl, I'll live. I just wish I knew what I did, and i wish us drifting apart could have been a little more gradual, because just cutting me off like this has really sucked. But whatever. It doesn't matter. I won't force myself on you anymore. We'll just be co-workers, okay? I won't even log in on Fridays, you don't have to worry about any awkwardness or anything._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ what the fuck is going on right now? Are you breaking up with me?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ can't break up if there's no relationship and I'd have a hard time convincing anyone we're even friends these days_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ and whose fault is that?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ I want to stop talking now. My head hurts. I don't think more fighting is going to solve anything anyway ._ _]]_

 _DD: [[ is Ed there?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ why?_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ just answer me. Is Ed there?_ _]]_

 _CP: [[ why do you want to know?_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ know what? It don't matter. If he is there, he can fuckin deal with it. Now answer your phone._ _]]_

 _CP: [[ I don't want to talk to you right now_ _]]_

 _DD: [[ ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE_ _]]_

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Too fuckin' bad." She'd heard him, of course, on conference calls at work, over the headset in XBL parties, he'd even called her desk a few times for work issues, but he sounded different over her cell phone. It wasn't just the anger in his voice, there was something about having a private conversation, a personal conversation that made it different. His voice was deep and gravelly, his accent so thick from emotion that she couldn't help how her body was reacting to the sound even though her brain was trying to shut it all down. "Where's your husband? He gonna be home soon?"

"Unlikely," she said, unhappy with the bitterness in her tone but she didn't really have the energy to care. "It's Friday. He is, without a doubt, in the middle of getting a lap dance right now from a poly sci major trying to pay her tuition."

There was a long pause. "He do that a lot?"

"Every Friday!" She said, with a perky sort of cynicism that sounded pitiful even to her. "What do you want, Daryl?" Now she just sounded tired. That was better. Exhausted was better than pitiful.

"You never said anythin' before about Ed goin' to strip clubs."

"You never asked, and I can't think of one good reason why you'd need to know. And the last thing I want to talk about to you is how pathetic and sad my life is. You were my escape from it, you were a good thing in my life, I didn't need to spoil that by bringing Ed in."

"Were." He said flatly.

"What?"

"You said were. You said you were a good thing in my life, past tense. Like I'm not anymore."

She sighed. This was all becoming so ugly and she didn't want this. She didn't want a bad ending to spoil everything that came before, because it had been so good for so long. It had been so important to her. "I don't know what you are, Daryl. I don't know what you want from me."

"I need you to know that I've been drinkin' tonight. A lot. It's the only reason I got balls enough to call you. It's good and it's bad. I'm drunk enough that I'm not followin' all the logic right now, and I might miss somethin' important. But I'm also drunk enough to say things I wouldn't be able to otherwise."

"Maybe I should hang up — "

"NO! No. We need to talk about all this because it's makin' me crazy and I can't keep feelin' like this all the time. I can't keep bein' this angry at you and this sad, and it don't matter how angry or sad I feel because I can't stay away from you." His voice had gotten low, intimate even, and she felt her insides fluttering even as she felt tense and sick.

"Coulda fooled me."

"You think I wanted to stay away from you? You think I wanted this? ...FUCK. I don't even know anymore. Why are you doin' this?" He sounded on the verge of tears, he sounded like he was in agony, and it was crushing her.

"What am I doing, Daryl? What did I do?" She was whispering, she couldn't speak without her voice breaking and if she started crying she'd never stop.

"You know how hard it is for me to sleep at night knowin' he's there with you, he's all over you? Touchin' you." His voice was quiet, strained, like he wasn't talking to her, wasn't talking to anyone, just finally pouring his heart out to the void and letting it all wash through him. She felt that being there, listening to him, was somehow a violation of his privacy. Like she should walk away and let him talk because once he sobered up he was going to regret all of this. But there wasn't anything on earth that could drag her away from that phone at that moment, she was paralyzed as her heart froze and thawed over and over. "And he's allowed to, he's got every right to, and you let him. Fuck, you probably want him to. You married him, you're his and he's yours and that's the way it's supposed to be. And I can't stop thinkin' about him there with you and how I can't say or do shit about it because I have no rights to you. You aren't mine. You ain't ever gonna be _mine._ And you don't seem to care that I ain't _yours_."

He had no idea what she felt for him. No idea how she was becoming physically ill over thinking of him with someone else. How she tortured herself, every night, lying in bed next to the stranger that she married, wanting this man that she could never have. A man she didn't deserve. She might have deserved him once, she might have been a woman worthy of him at one time, but then she met him and she violated her wedding vows in her heart, over and over, emotionally cheating on her husband by getting involved with another man, encouraging another man to become involved with her, while still married to Ed. Her marriage was a joke, long before they met, but she didn't end it then and she was not free to take up with someone else until she did. And now it was too late. By violating her vows, even if her feelings were kept hidden from him, she became a cheater unworthy of him. Nothing Ed did mattered, this was on her, and she had to live with the consequences. They both did.

"Daryl, I wish there was a way to make you understand without making this situation worse. I wish… I wish a lot of things. But you need to forget about me, you and I need to just be co-workers and friendly acquaintances because this is wrong and I should never have let this happen. This is all my fault, and you should be angry with me. You should hate me," her voice broke on that but she kept it together, found her resolve. She needed to do right by him. "On Monday, you need to ask to switch teams. We can't work together anymore. We can't be anything anymore. There is no we. I'm sorry."

She disconnected the phone and fell apart, feeling like she'd been gutted and left open to rot from the inside. Everything that had been good in her life was gone now. Everything that gave her hope was dead. She wanted to be dead, anything to stop the pain, but she was too selfish. She still kept the tiniest sliver of hope alive that maybe someday they could start again, maybe someday they could do this right. And because of that tiny pinprick of light still remaining, she had the strength to get up from the couch and move her things from the bedroom into the guest room. She would tell Ed tomorrow that it was over, that they needed to just agree to call it quits and walk away.

When she woke up, there was a single text message from Daryl that had come in at 3am.

 _[[ I'm not changing teams. If they want to move me, I can't stop them. You want to pretend we're strangers, that's fine, but I'm not going to jeopardize my career by jumping teams mid-project. You made your choice for both of us, so now I'm making mine. Deal with it. ]]_

When she tried to reply, the number was out of service.


	2. Chapter 2

**8 Months Later**

08:32:08 AM DDixon: You there?

08:32:10 AM CPeletier: hey, good morning. Yup, I'm here. What's up?

08:35:23 AM DDixon: I was looking at those three tickets you assigned me, and I wanted to talk to you about them. And...I'm not sure… Fuck. Can we switch to the other chat?

08:32:14 AM CPeletier: Umm, sure. You'll need to unblock me though. :P

08:32:12 AM DDixon: You were blocked for about three days total, okay? I realized right away how childish I was being. Look, can we just switch over before talking anymore? I don't want the IT guys to be popping popcorn and settling in for the show.

08:33:14 AM SofiaLamb: There's going to be a show?

08:32:47 AM Ezio-DD: No. Nothing like that. I just need to talk to you.

08:34:33 AM SofiaLamb: okay. What's up?

08:36:56 AM Ezio-DD: Fuck.

08:39:45 AM Ezio-DD: Why is it so hard to talk to you about things now? We're still friends, right?

08:41:32 AM SofiaLamb: as far as I know, yes.

08:46:12 AM Ezio-DD: I don't know how to talk to you anymore, but I need to ask you about something. And we're still friends, despite everything. I mean, maybe not close like we were but we at least acknowledge that there was a time when we were really important to each other, right? And people who are important to each other talk to each other, right?

08:50:23 AM SofiaLamb: You saw my calendar.

08:50:45 AM Ezio-DD: yeah.

08:53:12 AM Ezio-DD: Did you quit?

08:55:40 AM SofiaLamb: no, nothing like that.

08:58:02 AM Ezio-DD: you've got two weeks of vacation and then everything on your calendar has been set to "tentative."

09:06:56 AM SofiaLamb: I didn't quit. I just don't know where I'll be and Schumpert decided that rather than let me handle it discreetly, he should have IT switch all my meetings over to "Tentative" for the next two months since he couldn't just announce that my life is fucked up over the loudspeaker and have it broadcast to all the offices. But clearly that was the intent because you are the fourth person today that I've had to reassure that I'm not quitting.

09:09:12 AM Ezio-DD: Can we just break this whole thing down line by line for a second?

09:10:31 AM SofiaLamb: :) Sorry. Just venting a little. I'm very annoyed with him.

09:10:40 AM Ezio-DD: So what's going on?

09:12:30 AM SofiaLamb: ehhhh… In a nutshell? I'm moving. Somewhere. And until I know where, I can't guarantee whether I'll be available at those times. That's all.

09:13:34 AM Ezio-DD: What happened? You going into witness protection? Ed get transferred or something?

09:17:23 AM SofiaLamb: Um, no. I left Ed.

09:17:30 AM Ezio-DD: WHAT? When?

09:17:42 AM SofiaLamb: about 8 months ago.

09:18:03 AM Ezio-DD: …

09:18:06 AM Ezio-DD: what?

09:24:42 AM SofiaLamb: yeah...I wasn't sure how to tell you or if I even should, and then things got really complicated and so much time passed, and I guess I don't know how to talk to you anymore either.

09:28:14 AM Ezio-DD: I don't even know what to say right now.

09:28:35 AM SofiaLamb: yeah, I'm right there with you.

09:28:59 AM Ezio-DD: do you want to talk about it?

09:31:07 AM SofiaLamb: yes and no.

09:31:27 AM Ezio-DD: understood. Can you at least explain why you're moving but don't know where?

09:34:10 AM SofiaLamb: yes. To you, I can explain. But you need to know that this is not something I've told anyone else but Schumpert and HR, and I really don't want this getting around the company. Can you please keep this to yourself as much as possible? You don't have to lie if someone asks you directly, just don't volunteer the information.

09:34:44 AM Ezio-DD: yes, of course.

09:40:15 AM SofiaLamb: When I told Ed that I wanted a divorce, he didn't take it well.

09:43:27 AM SofiaLamb: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble explaining this. This is really hard to talk about.

09:43:56 AM Ezio-DD: It's okay, take your time. Just whatever you feel comfortable saying. You know you can tell me anything, and I'm not going to judge.

09:44:43 AM SofiaLamb: that's not what I'm worried about.

09:48:04 AM SofiaLamb: He lost his temper. I ended up in the emergency room. Wasn't anything too serious, just a mild concussion and some cracked ribs were the worst of it.

09:48:39 AM Ezio-DD: he's a fucking dead man.

09:48:51 AM SofiaLamb: Daryl, it's okay. I handled it. Don't...just don't. It's over.

09:51:32 AM Ezio-DD: I need to stop talking right now. I need to go outside and have a smoke. I need to get away from my desk because I think I might start tearing this place apart if I don't leave right now.

09:51:47 AM SofiaLamb: k

10:10:32 AM Ezio-DD: I'm back.

10:10:50 AM SofiaLamb: hey. You okay?

10:11:00 AM Ezio-DD: …

10:11:08 AM Ezio-DD: you're asking ME if I'm okay?

10:11:48 AM SofiaLamb: yeah. I need to know that you're not going to lose your shit over this.

10:13:12 AM Ezio-DD: did he ever hit you before that?

10:16:43 AM Ezio-DD: answer the fucking question.

10:20:07 AM Ezio-DD: I swear to god that if you don't answer that question right now, I'm going to be on the next plane to Detroit and I'm going to fucking hunt that motherfucker down.

10:20:37 AM SofiaLamb: yes.

10:22:09 AM Ezio-DD: why didn't you tell me?

10:23:01 AM SofiaLamb: because

10:23:15 AM Ezio-DD: that's not an answer

10:23:47 AM SofiaLamb: that's the only one I have.

10:25:30 AM Ezio-DD: my normal response would be to clam up right now, to get all defensive and hurt and think you didn't tell me any of this because I didn't measure up. But i'm not going to do that because this ain't about me, this is about you. All I care about right now is that your safe. Are you safe?

10:26:17 AM SofiaLamb: Yes, I think so.

10:26:31 AM Ezio-DD: you think so, or you are?

10:27:10 AM SofiaLamb: I am.

10:27:43 AM Ezio-DD: okay.

10:28:56 AM Ezio-DD: I want you to know that I didn't ever ask you about your marriage because I didn't think I had any right to. Not because I didn't care.

10:31:04 AM SofiaLamb: it was the right choice. I probably would have told you stuff, and it would have been upsetting to you, and I would have felt guilty for dragging you into my mess. So you made the right choice.

10:31:29 AM Ezio-DD: well, I'm asking you now.

10:31:47 AM SofiaLamb: what do you want to know?

10:32:02 AM Ezio-DD: Everything. Start at the beginning

10:33:31 AM SofiaLamb: none of it matters now

10:33:55 AM Ezio-DD: don't care. I should already know this. If we were as close as I thought we were, we'd have talked about this. I failed you

10:34:17 AM SofiaLamb: what are you talking about? You didn't fail me

10:35:52 AM Ezio-DD: yes I did. I let my massive, inappropriate crush on you get in the way of being a real friend. I didn't ask you about Ed like I should have. I didn't ask you about your life. I don't even know how you met or when. I don't know about your family.

10:37:02 AM SofiaLamb: i don't know about yours either.

10:37:47 AM SofiaLamb: i never examined our friendship, you know? Thinking about it now… This wasn't YOU failing ME. I wasn't a good friend either. But I never thought of it in those terms, and up until 5 minutes ago, I wouldn't have ever questioned that we were close friends. So you shouldn't either. I didn't talk to you about Ed because I didn't have to think about him when I was with you, and that was important to me.

10:40:18 AM Ezio-DD: its true, I always considered you to be one of my closest friends, and it kills me that everything we are saying right now is in past tense. But I want to believe this can change and we can still be…*we*. None of that stuff mattered before but it matters now so tell me about Ed.

10:44:23 AM SofiaLamb: He's older than me, by about 6 years. We met when I was 24 and he was almost 30. He'd been married before, and she died in a car accident. She was pregnant at the time.

10:45:46 AM Ezio-DD: Fuck. That's rough. That'd fuck anyone up.

10:48:11 AM SofiaLamb: That's the thing, when I met him and things started progressing, I thought he was the healthiest, most well-adjusted person on the planet considering what he'd been through. What I didn't realize was that he was able to maintain this image of someone that was friendly, personable, and caring, but that he was basically dead inside. He died in that car crash with them.

10:51:34 AM SofiaLamb: I was naive, about a lot of things. The stuff that bothered me when we were just dating or living together, it seemed unimportant at the time, like these were the things that they talk about when they say marriage is a compromise. I actually thought that his lack of concern for my well-being was just something I would have to compromise on.

10:52:01 AM Ezio-DD: what do you mean by that? I don't understand how that's okay

10:55:24 AM SofiaLamb: it wasn't anything major, like I didn't break my arm and he wouldn't take me to the hospital. It was little things. Like I had to travel for work a few times and he wouldn't charge his phone. I'd text him to say I got there safe and he didn't even know, wouldn't get the text until the next day. I just knew I couldn't count on him if something happened. I got a flat tire once late at night and I just called AAA and didn't even bother trying to reach him. I told myself he was sleeping and he shouldn't be driving that late after just waking up, but deep down I knew he wouldn't come get me, or if he did, I'd never hear the end of it.

10:57:15 AM Ezio-DD: that's fucked up. That's just… I'd go get Glenn in that situation, let alone my girlfriend or, Jesus, my fucking wife? That's really fucked up.

11:00:23 AM SofiaLamb: i know. NOW. Looking back, I can't believe how stupid I was. The night we got engaged, I was actually thinking of breaking up with him. Something had happened and it made me realize he wasn't over his first wife, but then he proposed and I thought that was a sign that I was wrong, that he wouldn't have considered marrying me if I wasn't just as important to him as she had been. But he didn't have a ring, you know? He didn't ask me like he'd been planning it or even thinking about it. I think he knew or sensed that I was thinking about breaking it off and asking me to marry him was his way of controlling the situation.

11:04:47 AM SofiaLamb: i justified it afterwards, the doubts I'd been having. The stuff about his first wife. Of course there'd always be baggage, but I thought having me in his life, loving him, that I would somehow be enough. But we hadn't even been married two years when I realized that if I died right then, it would have merely been an inconvenience to him. He was spending each day just getting by, waiting to die and be with them. When I gave him an ultimatum to force him to get therapy, that's when he hit me the first time, and some sick part of me was happy that he felt *something* towards me.

11:06:18 AM SofiaLamb: after that, we weren't even a couple, we sure as fuck weren't partners. We shared a house. He had his life, I had mine. Occasionally he wanted to fuck. I never wanted to. Not with him, it made me feel terrible every time, especially when I realized that he couldn't...maintain things if he could see my face. Hindsight is 20/20. But I didn't have much of a say in it. Luckily, eventually he became less and less interested in me and more interested in strippers, and I was okay with that. I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I wanted a divorce and here we are, all caught up.

11:10:33 AM SofiaLamb: see why I didn't want to talk about it? I'm fucking pathetic. I'm a pathetic, worthless piece of shit that was so desperate for love that I married a man that would have been just as happy with a blow-up doll. Happier probably, since a doll doesn't try to talk to you. And I stayed with him because I thought he'd learn to love me. And then I gave up on that and stayed with him because I was afraid.

11:13:53 AM SofiaLamb: I feel like I'm going to throw up right now. I shouldn't have told you any of this. I can't believe I told you any of this but you asked and somebody was actually listening so of course I just spew out everything on my mind because someone is paying attention to me! And I'm so fucking pathetic that just having you ask a fucking question has me spilling my guts out to you, stuff you don't need to know and I don't want you to know but there we are.

11:14:21 AM SofiaLamb: I need to walk away now. I'm crying, and I'm embarrassing myself here, and I can't take much more humiliation right now. I have to move because my ex-husband who never loved me to begin with is stalking me. FUCK MY LIFE.

 _SofiaLamb has disconnected._

 _DD: [[ You said you have to move somewhere but don't know where. Move down to Atlanta. You can stay at my house for as long as you need to, Glenn moved in with this girlfriend two months ago, and I have an empty guest room. You'll be safe here and you can work out of the Atlanta office. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I don't think that's a good idea. ]]_

 _DD: [[ If you're worried about it becoming complicated, don't. I have a girlfriend. You'd be my guest/roommate. Fuck, we can even carpool and use the HOV lane. Win-win. ]]_

 _CP: [[ So I guess this is your new phone number? ]]_

 _DD: [[ Yes. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I'm sorry I'm such an asshole. ]]_

 _CP: [[ You aren't an asshole. If you were, I'd have told you all this years ago and things wouldn't have gotten so fucked up. You're one of the best people I know. I'm glad you have somebody, I hope she makes you happy. ]]_

 _DD: [[ She does. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Good. :) I'll think about Atlanta. You've made a strong case for it though, what with the carpooling and all. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I knew that would be a big draw. But seriously, I have plenty of room. I'll send you pictures of the house. The room is empty, you could move in at any time, and move out whenever you find your own place. Probably be quicker than you think, rent is relatively cheap down here. ]]_

 _CP: [[ That might be a problem. Can't get into it right now, but Ed pretty much fucked me financially. I might not be able to afford a place of my own for months. One of the reasons why everything is so up in the air, I can't move until I can find someplace where I can afford to keep living. ]]_

 _DD: [[ None of this is a problem. That room would just be empty otherwise. And if that's what is keeping you in Michigan, then pack your shit and get down here. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Let me at least think about it overnight, okay? :P ]]_

 _DD: [[ FINE. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Your girlfriend isn't going to mind if I move in? ]]_

 _DD: [[ Nope. She's cool. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Maybe you should ask her? ]]_

 _DD: [[ FINE. ]]_

 _DD: [[ She says "tell her to pack her shit and get down here." ]]_

 _CP: [[ PFFFF. DOUBT THAT. ]]_

 _DD: [[ You'll just have to ask her yourself when you get down here. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Fine, I'll tell you in the morning! GAWD. ]]_

 _DD: [[ FINE. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Do you need any money for gas or anything? ]]_

 _CP: [[ Laff. You're such a fucking sweetheart. No, I'm not broke, I just don't have a lot of available credit right now. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Okay. But promise you'll tell me if you need anything. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I will. I promise. Daryl? ]]_

 _DD: [[ yeah? ]]_

 _CP: [[ thank you. ]]_

 _DD: [[ the best thanks would be having you here, safe and sound. ]]_

 _CP: [[ sigh You are so fucking pushy. ]]_

 _DD: [[ :P ]]_

"Dude. You told her you have a girlfriend?"

"I do. She just hasn't moved down here yet, but I'm workin' on it."

"That's so wrong…"

"Don't care. You need to get the rest of your shit out of the house after work. I need to take pictures so that she'll know it's a real place, not a shit hole. She needs to feel safe."

"Who is going to protect her from you, pervert?"

"Fuck off."

The email came in around 8pm, 15 images attached. The body of the email just had an address, and when she plugged it into Google Maps she found that he lived near an area called Little 5 Points. She took a few minutes to look at the street view of the neighborhood, enjoying the eclectic mix of little bungalows and Craftsman-style cottages. The address he sent was one of the latter, and before seeing anything of the photos, she fell in the love with the street-view of a house-spanning front porch with pillars, a porch swing, and planter boxes spilling perennials over wide wooden planks. It was her domestic wet dream.

She clicked through his pictures, trying to look at each room critically but finding herself getting caught up in the details of the woodwork, the original deco-style stained glass windows at the base of the stairs and the arch of the windows, and the broad window seat with the thick blue cushion in the picture simply labeled "Your Room." She wanted to be cautious, she wanted to take time and consider all her options, but until a few hours ago she didn't have any options and she was convinced she'd be sleeping on someone's couch for the next three months before she could afford the security deposit on a rat hole in BFE Indiana. Instead there was a porch, a window seat, and a good friend that was safely involved in a relationship. That last item was both comforting and heartbreaking to her.

She wanted to be cautious, but instead she found herself looking around her dingy extended-stay hotel room at the 12 boxes, one oversized wooden crate, and three suitcases that contained all her worldly possessions, and decided that if she spent the next hour packing up all the regular-use items that were scattered around the room, she could be asleep by 10, get up at 5 to load her car — which would severely limit the possibility that Ed would be around to interfere — and be on the road by 6:30 at the latest. That put her in Atlanta at around 8 pm assuming traffic somewhere, depending on if she bothered stopping for any meals. It was the first time in eight months that she felt excited about something, hopeful even, and she didn't want to waste time forcing herself to think about it when she'd already decided the moment she saw that porch. She fired off an email to her boss and got to work packing the few things she'd needed over the last month.

 _CP: [[_ img attached _]]_

 _DD: [[ what is this? ]]_

 _CP: [[ it's a picture of me standing in front of the "you are now leaving Michigan" sign about 45 minutes ago, as I'm on my way down to my new life in Atlanta. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Carol? ]]_

 _DD: [[ you're beautiful. ]]_

 _CP: [[ HOLY SHIT. I forgot you've never seen a picture of me before. And I'm sticking my tongue out at you! That's a great first impression. ]]_

 _DD: [[ when do you think you'll get here? And can I tell people at work? Glenn is going to be so fucking excited. ]]_

 _CP: [[ just Glenn? ]]_

 _DD: [[ no. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Rick has been talking about a Mario Party tournament for months. He'll be psyched for you to play. ;) ]]_

 _CP: [[_ ← _pouty face ]]_

 _DD: [[ in about 11 hours, I'm gonna be able to see your pouty face. ]]_

 _CP: [[ maybe not. I'm debating turning around since you don't seem very excited about me moving in. ]]_

 _DD: [[ … ]]_

 _DD: [[ Don't toy with me, woman. I'm more excited than can be expressed by mere glyphs on a screen. I've fucking MISSED you so much, and now you're going to live here. ]]_

 _CP: [[ yes, now you can adjust your aim. ]]_

 _DD: [[ ass. ]]_

 _CP: [[ ≤ 3 ]]_

He was so absurdly thrilled by the heart that he screen-captured it, then scrolled up and screen-captured the beginning part of the conversation with her picture in it, then grabbed the rest of the conversation just because. It was something he didn't ever want to forget. He made a copy of the capture and edited out all but her picture and the first two lines of conversation, then posted it to the FB Messenger group for the handful of people who he was closest to. He started counting and was a little shocked that he managed to hit 11 before the first message popped up.

 **8:36 AM**

 **Nerd Club**

Glenn: HOLY SHIT THATS CAROL? She's fucking HOT

Rick: Carols moving here? I haven't seen an emai. Looking now.

Glenn: THATS your take-away?

Rick: nope no email.

Rick: hey, I don't objectify women. Her physical attractiveness isn't the first thing I notice.

Tara: holy fuck, I would WRECK her

Tara: I had no idea she was so bargain

Tara: *banking

Tara: FUCKING AUTO-CORRECT

Tara: *bangable

Tara: she's moving here?!

Glenn: didn't you just invite her yesterday?

Daryl: yup. :) apparently I made a strong case.

Rick: isn't she married? What's her husband doing?

Daryl: dying in a fire if there's any justice in the world

Rick: did she leave him?

Tara: Carols single now? And moving here?!

Rick: Daryl, did she leave her husband for you?

Abraham: son of a dick, THAT'S Carol? Dayum

Tara: I can't really tell from the picture, how big do you think her boobs are? I hope a solid C…

Rick: Daryl?

Daryl: what?

Tara: you know I like my women busty

Abraham: from the angle looks like a B. Could be a C

Rick: did you break up her marriage?

Daryl: none of your fucking business Rick, but no. She left him months ago.

Abraham: no shit? Wonder why she didn't say anything.

Tara: I think I'd be okay with a B, considering the rest of the package. I mean, she clearly knows how to use her tongue. ;)

Glenn: Jesus, Tara. How are you not getting emails from HR on a daily basis?

Tara: I'm just saying what y'all are thinking.

Abraham: she's not wrong.

Rick: where is she going to live? Are they putting her up in executive housing?

Daryl: with me

Glenn: with Daryl

Abraham: no shit?

Glenn: my old room

Abraham: mmhmm

Eugene: Carol is really pretty. But I thought she would be based on her voice.

Tara: did she leave her husband because she realized she prefers bumper-to-bumper?

Daryl: I was thinking of having a barbecue this weekend, a welcome party.

Glenn: YES

Glenn: can I bring Maggie?

Daryl: can I stop you?

Glenn: would you want to?

Daryl: nope.

Glenn: good answer

Glenn: can I invite Beth?

Daryl: …

Glenn: you did tell Carol you have a girlfriend.

Daryl: …

Rick: why'd you tell her that?

Eugene: you don't have a girlfriend. Everyone knows you're in love with Carol.

Glenn: except Carol

Rick: except Carol

Tara: expect Carol

Daryl: fuck you all

Eugene: Isn't she married?

Abraham: use your genius brain to scroll up numbnuts

Tara: I really think she's gay. Look at her hair

Daryl: she's not gay

Rick: why'd you tell her you have a girlfriend?

Daryl: jesus, Rick, quit busting my balls

Jesus: yes, my son?

Abraham: BWAHAHAHA

Tara: OMG well layed

Tara: *played

Glenn: how'd you do that? FB doesn't let you use nicknames

Jesus: I work miracles, my son

 _RG: [[ why did you tell her you have a girlfriend? ]]_

 _DD: [[ /sigh ]]_

 _DD: [[ she wouldn't move down here if I didn't and she needed to get away from her ex ]]_

 _RG: [[ what did he do? ]]_

 _DD: [[ bad stuff. That's all I'm gonna say. ]]_

 _RG: [[ I can't believe she didn't tell me any of this, I thought we were friends ]]_

 _DD: [[ she didn't tell anyone ]]_

 _RG: [[ she told you ]]_

 _DD: [[ yeah, she did, so clearly she trusts me ]]_

 _RG: [[ good thing you followed that up by lying to her about having a girlfriend ]]_

 _DD: [[ fuck off. I'm telling her the truth as soon as she gets here, but she wouldn't have come if I didn't tell her that. And she needs to be here. ]]_

 _RG: [[ I'm going to let her know I have an open room too. Not going behind your back, but she should have options ]]_

 _DD: [[ fuck you ]]_

 _RG. [[ it wasn't that long ago that you blocked her on chat, changed your phone number, and kicked her out of the XBL group because you were all butthurt over something. I didn't even know the two of you were talking again and suddenly she's moving down here to live with you? ]]_

 _DD: [[ I didn't kick her out of the group. She stopped logging in. And you don't know shit about what went on between me and Carol so stay the fuck out of it. ]]_

 _RG: [[ no. She's my friend too. ]]_

 _GR: [[ radio silence from both you and Rick. He texting you? ]]_

 _DD: [[ yeah. He plans to tell Carol he has an open room. You know, so she knows she has "options" ]]_

 _GR: [[ dafuq you say? ]]_

 _DD: [[ I'm seriously about to lose my shit on him. He's such an arrogant ass ]]_

 _GR: [[ he always gets like this when he spends a lot of time around Shane. Apart they are okay, together they've got wonder twin powers ]]_

 _DD: [[ shape of...a giant asshole! ]]_

 _GR: [[ form of...an insufferable prick! ]]_

 _DD: [[ :D ]]_

 _GR: [[ it's going to be fine, you know. She's not going to move in with Rick. ]]_

 _DD: [[ she HAD to get out of there. Ed's a nasty piece of work. I don't care if she never forgives me, hell I don't even care if she moves in with Rick, I'd tell her any fucking thing it'd take to get her away from him. He fucking beat her up. ]]_

 _GR: [[ jesus ]]_

 _GR: [[ you did the right thing ]]_

 _DD: [[ I know I did. You should see the stuff she was saying about herself, how she's a piece of shit, stuff like that. He really fucked her up. I might not be the best thing for her, but I'm sure as fuck better than HIM ]]_

 _GR: [[ I half expected Paul to pop up in here when I said "Jesus" ]]_

 _DD: [[ heh. Me too. ]]_

 _GR: [[ and you'd care at least a little if she moved in with Rick ]]_

 _DD: [[ he's such a prick ]]_

 **9:18 AM**

 **Nerd Club**

Abraham: So when's the party?

Daryl: Today is...Thursday? Yes, Thursday. Umm… Saturday? Maybe start drinking around 3 or 4, grilling around 6?

Abraham: That is a good plan, brother.

Tara: When is Carol going to be here? I still can't believe Carol is moving here. THE Carol. She's like my fucking hero. She's fucking amazing.

Daryl: She is. :)

Tara: No, you don't even know. You aren't a chick trying to work in tech. She's took a fucking sledgehammer to the glass ceiling. Did you know that no one can get moved off her team unless they ask to move? She had it written into her fucking contract, every one of you, support, QA, everyone.

Daryl: what?

Glenn: dafuq?

Rick: Seriously? Is that why all of you are so entrenched?

Tara: Yes, I heard it from Deanna. She negotiated it years ago, and then like two years ago set a mandatory percentage for increases for all of you every year and profit-sharing on whatever projects you work on, said you all weren't going to be punished for not pimping yourselves out to a bunch of different teams. So even though she's not a manager, she controls who works on her projects, makes sure no one fucks with you, and then makes it rain for you. She makes like 20% less than any of the other team leads because of it, she leveraged her salary into you guys. You didn't know this?

Daryl: no

Glenn: I had no idea.

Tara: and btw, she actually said that in the meeting with Blake. It's fucking legendary, I swear Olivia would cross-stitch it into a banner for the women's bathroom but Carol doesn't know we all know about this. Olivia could hear her yelling over the speakerphone at Blake in his office, she told him "I'm not going to let them get punished for not pimping themselves out to whatever team is the flavor of the month." And then she told him that if he didn't start hiring more women programmers, engineers, and executives in departments other than Marketing, she was going to start looking into his hiring practices over the last ten years and see what the board thinks of his "lily white sausage fest" in upper management.

Abraham: CAROL SAID THAT? Sweet, demure Carol?

Tara: oh fuck… "demure"? She's a fucking force of nature. I can't believe she's going to work out of Atlanta now. Blake is going to shit himself.

Daryl: this explains so much.

Tara: I'm probably going to go all fangirl on her when I meet her. Do you think she'd be willing to speak at one of my meet-ups? OMG, that would be so fucking fantastic. It would be a HUGE get.

Daryl: Tara, you've talked to her a million times on XBL and at work.

Tara: nuh uh, no I haven't. She stopped logging in like two weeks after I joined, I never got to play with her. I always wondered if it was something I said. And I've never worked on one of her projects, not *yet* at least. I keep trying to get assigned to her but Martinez is afraid to lose another support tech so he refuses to let me work on any of her tickets. Says I'll disappear into the "Bermuda Triangle of Team Carol" and never be seen again by mere mortals. Glenn, you are so fucking lucky you get to work with her. I'm so jealous, I've actually thought about carjacking you and leaving you in the trunk for a few days so Martinez is forced to assign out your tickets.

Glenn: uhh….

Tara: I wouldn't actually do it!

Abraham: wouldn't you?

Tara: well, not now that I've gone and told everyone my plan. Can't have plausible deniability NOW.

Daryl: Tara, don't carjack Glenn. And please don't lock him in any trunks, especially not during the summer. Carol was so happy when you joined the XBL group. And I didn't realize just how important it was to her to have women gamers around. You didn't do anything, she stopped logging in because of me.

Tara: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?

Daryl: I got drunk and said some stuff that made her uncomfortable. :(

Tara: FUCK YOU, DIXON, FOR KEEPING ME AND CAROL APART. WE SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS RIGHT NOW.

Tara: and best friends mean sleep overs and sweaty pillow fights and I'd probably be enjoying a glazed doughnut right now if it wasn't for you. I COULD BE GETTING CAROL POON RIGHT NOW, MOTHERFUCKER

Abraham: dude, I think she's going to cut you

Daryl: Don't I get any credit for getting her to move down here?

Tara: YES ahem Yes. But only if I get quality time with her on Saturday and she starts playing online again. And maybe I happen to see her naked, just by accident? Like you tell me when she's showering and I happen to just pop by and don't realize she's in the bathroom?

Daryl: Saturday, yes. Gaming, yes. You creeping her out with your pervy spying while she's showering? FUCK NO. What is wrong with you?

Tara: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You should be worshipping her like a goddess, not getting drunk and saying mean things to her.

Daryl: weren't mean things.

Abraham: ears perking up Oh? What else could you have possibly said that would make her uncomfortable?

Eugene: I think he might have told her about his feelings for her. You know, how he's in love with her.

Daryl: …

Daryl: STFU Eugene. I didn't tell her I was in love with her. Honestly, I can't remember what I told her, I was really fucking drunk that night. But it must have been bad because she told me I should ask to switch teams. And I spent the next month living in dread of the phone call from Karen telling me I was going to be moved to another team but apparently that wasn't going to happen unless I asked.

Glenn: umm.

Glenn: I almost hesitate to tell you this… But I know what you said.

Daryl: ?

Tara: what did he say?

Abraham: fuck, man! This is better than Real Housewives. What did he say?

Daryl: Dude.

Glenn: what? I was your fucking roommate. I WAS IN THE ROOM. I kept trying to leave and you wouldn't let me, you kept making faces at me while she was talking like "Can you believe this shit?" And all I could hear was your side of the conversation. It was...really fucked up, man.

Glenn: like I can't unhear that shit.

Tara: WHAT DID HE SAY?

Eugene: I have such a craving for popcorn right now, I think I'm going to go microwave some. Anyone need anything?

Abraham: Grab me a Dr. Pepper while you're in there, and Glenn? ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.

Glenn: Daryl?

Daryl: shrug go ahead. I don't think finding out I'm an asshole is going to shock anyone here.

Glenn: umm, so you were home, and you had a beer while you were waiting for her to login, and then just kept having more and more of them as you waited, and you were getting super pissed, and then the two of you were texting for awhile, and then all of a sudden you were on the phone with her. I'm going to be paraphrasing here, but you were asking about her husband, and then stuff about him going to strip clubs, and then you said "You said were, like past tense, like I used to be a good thing in your life and now I'm not." And then she said some stuff, and then you told her you were really drunk but you guys needed to talk because you couldn't stand being this angry and sad all the time. Then you told her this wasn't what you wanted, you didn't want to stay away from her.

Glenn: you sure you want me to keep going?

Tara: IF YOU DON'T FINISH THE STORY YOU WILL DIE ALONE IN MY TRUNK WHILE SMALL CHILDREN PLAY NEARBY.

Abraham: FINISH THE STORY

Daryl: fuck. It's bad, isn't it?

Eugene: I really don't do well with cliffhangers, I'm going to vote with Abe on this. But not with Tara because I find her terrifying.

Jesus: You need to finish the story.

Rick: you fucking did it, didn't you? You broke up her marriage.

Daryl: STFU Rick, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Daryl: Go ahead, Glenn. Might as well.

Glenn: sigh okay. You said something about not being able to sleep at night, knowing he was there with her, touching her, and knowing that he was allowed to be with her and she was letting him do things to her. That she probably wanted it, since she married him. That she was his, and that was how it was supposed to be, and it was killing you because you couldn't say or do anything because you had no right to her. She wasn't yours, wasn't ever going to be yours. And she didn't seem to care that you weren't hers.

Glenn: And then she said something and hung up on you, and you put your fist through the wall and I had to take you to the ER because you broke your hand. You texted her when we got back from the hospital, then smashed your phone, and then used my phone to have your number disconnected.

Daryl: Jesus Christ.

Jesus: indeed.

Tara: ...wow

Abraham: dude.

Eugene: that is some Shakespearean-level tragedy right there.

Glenn: I had no idea that the two of you were involved.

Daryl: We weren't. I mean, there was a lot of flirting and shit, but she always shut it down pretty quick. I know that I wanted more, but I didn't realize I ever told her that. It was always just...flirting.

Tara: that's not flirting

Tara: that's epic, unrequited love

Glenn: not sure it was unrequited.

Abraham: and she's moving in with you.

Rick: let's not forget why. Because she left her fucking husband for you. I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW you broke up her marriage.

Glenn: Rick…

Jesus: Jesus, Rick. What is your problem?

Daryl: no. He's right. She just told me yesterday. That's the night she ended it with Ed. But it wasn't "for" me. And he put her in the hospital because of it.

Tara: WHAT?

Glenn: WHAT?

Abraham: WHAT?

Rick: he did what?

Jesus: FUCK

Daryl: I'm not telling you anything else, shouldn't have said that much, but yeah, her ex is a real piece of shit. Definitely a marriage worth saving, Rick. Fuck me for wanting something better for her! And whatever you might think of me, I'd never give her a fucking concussion or break her ribs, so yeah, I'm better for her than that fucking douchebag abuser.

 _Rick Grimes left the group._

Daryl: asshole.

Tara: So...Saturday, right? Sounds like a plan!

Daryl: I've already emailed Karen, clearly since I'm not at work right now, but I'm going to be taking today and tomorrow off. Got some stuff to do around the house today, and then hopefully I'll be able to spend some time with Carol tomorrow, show her around a bit.

Abraham: that's a good idea. Make sure she's comfortable, gets settled in.

Tara: Just let me know when it's a good time to pop by. You know, if she's taking a shower. Or a bath. Oh. A bath. Yeah. You DO have a bathtub, right?

Daryl: …

Daryl: that's a good reminder though. Girls like taking baths, right? So if I got a bunch of girlie soaps and bath oils and shit, she'd like that?

Tara: YES

Daryl: What else?

Tara: candles. Nice smelling ones. And put some flowers in her room. Nothing fancy, just something pretty in a vase next to the bed.

Abraham: I always love staying in those hotels where they give you warm cookies at check-in. You should do that, have some cookies for her.

Glenn: NICE

Daryl: okay, nice smelling bath stuff. Candles. flowers for her room so she has something pretty to look at. Cookies. Anything else?

Glenn: coffee and coca-cola. She's obsessed with coffee and coke.

Daryl: she is?

Glenn: yes. Calls them her "sweet, dark goddesses"

Tara: ...I wanna be her sweet, dark goddess

Daryl: stay the fuck away from my woman, creeper.

Tara: :D I will, because THAT.

Abraham: me too. :)

Jesus: me three.

Tara: dude, you're gay.

Jesus: so? Carol-Love is genderless.

Tara: true dat

Eugene: I, too, will not interfere in your relationship with Carol. Even though she is a woman I deeply respect, admire, and find myself with erections around quite frequently. And that was only when I knew her by voice.

Glenn: if it weren't for my sweet Maggie, I'd fight you to the death for her, but alas, my love has been given to another.

Daryl: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Rick is not going to respect my prior claim on her.


	3. Chapter 3

_CP: [[ On principle, I don't check my phone while I'm driving, so I'm at a Speedway right now getting gas and a giant cherry vanilla coke. And I noticed I had a message. ]]_

 _CP: [[ Is there some reason I got a text from Rick Grimes telling me he has a spare room? ]]_

 _DD: [[ Yes, he's an asshole. Did he say anything else? ]]_

 _CP: [[ Yes. ]]_

 _DD: [[ And? ]]_

 _CP: [[ We'll talk about it when I get there. ]]_

 _DD: [[ So you haven't turned around and headed back? ]]_

 _CP: [[ I probably should, but I'm not going to. I'm choosing to trust you. Please don't make me regret it. If there's anything else I should know… Tonight is your grace period. Anything comes out after tonight, I might be taking Rick up on his offer. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Understood. Thank you for trusting me. ]]_

 _CP: [[ It's mostly because of the carpooling. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I know. That's why I didn't bury the lead. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I'll see you in approximately 7.5 hours. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Looking forward to it. Be safe. ]]_

 _CP: [[ I will. I've got a lot to look forward to myself. ]]_

 _DD: [[ :) ]]_

 _DD: [[ Carol? If you get a flat tire, you call me immediately. BEFORE the tow truck. Not just a flat. Anything happens, call or text me. Construction? Bad accident slows traffic down? Anything that will delay you, just let me know. Because I'll be expecting you in 7.5 hours and if you're much later than that I'll be getting in the car to come find you. ]]_

 _CP: [[ ≤_ 3 _that's incredibly sweet. A little stalker-ish, but incredibly sweet. I'll see you soon. ]]_

 _DD: [[ not soon enough ]]_

He'd spent the day shopping then puttering around the house, trying to keep himself from just staring at the clock all day. He bought new linens for her bed, so he unpackaged them and made the bed up, then realized the sheets all smelled like plastic so he stripped the bed and washed everything, _then_ realized the mattress was pretty beat up and had a big divot forming in the center so he went to the store and bought her a brand new mattress with a thick pillow top. It was so damn comfortable that he bought one for his bed as well, and then had a nice two hours driving out and back from the store's warehouse to pick up the mattresses since delivery would take days, then fun figuring out how to maneuver them up the stairs and into the bedrooms without any assistance. And he still had a good four hours left to go.

With the new mattress in place, and the new, sweet-smelling linens on the bed, the room looked a lot nicer than it did before. He made sure all the drawers were cleared out in the dresser, wardrobe, and nightstands — even though he was tempted to leave the half-empty box of Glenn's condoms in the drawer just in case — and emptied everything out of the closet. All of it needed a new home, this was Carol's space now. He cleaned up the bathroom, thoroughly, even bringing in the vacuum to clear the dust off the cold air exchange vent and clean up some of the old cobwebs in the corners. After setting out the new, jasmine-scented bath items (because they smelled good), he went downstairs and cleaned that bathroom too. And straightened up the living room, vacuumed the area rug and swept the hardwood floors, then dusted everything. Then vacuumed and swept again, and cursed himself for being an idiot. The kitchen was pretty clean already but there was still three and a half hours so he cleaned it again, then unpacked the new, fancy espresso machine he got for Carol and read the instructions, then found a YouTube video to make sense of the instructions. After finding out his generous salary was due to her efforts on their behalf, he wanted her to have anything and everything she might need or want in her new home. After all, he wouldn't have this house if it wasn't for her. He made a sample cup of espresso and felt his eyeballs vibrate when the burst of caffeine hit his system.

Two hours to go and he was buzzing with nervous, espresso-fueled energy, so he decided to go out to the garage and work on his bike. And like always, he completely lost track of time while he was happily disassembling, cleaning, reassembling, adding fluids, and just generally tinkering on his classic Triumph motorcycle with Nine Inch Nails blaring in the background. Which is why he didn't hear her at first.

She'd pulled up to the curb at 7:35 PM, slightly ahead of schedule, and sat in her car for a few minutes staring at the house. It looked different than the street-view picture she'd been drooling over, better even. The house was still forest green with brown trim, but more lights had been added to the porch and driveway, copper metal sconces with an industrial feel. The small front yard had been torn up and replanted with perennials, and some kind of vine with white flowers with yellow centers was climbing up two of the pillars of the porch and reaching out for the third. The swing was still there, but another cedar-red Adirondack-style chair sat near it, angled slightly, as if waiting for someone to set a spell and talk with whomever swung nearby. A flag hung from a pole near the front steps, but it was the Brotherhood of Steel flag from Fallout, and that alone made her realize she was just wasting time in her car that she could be spending with Daryl.

She made her way to the porch, rang the doorbell, and then knocked on the door when no one answered. The stained glass she'd admired in the photos he sent was all over the front of the house: window accents, inset in the deep cherry-colored door, full windows in the attic, and a small porthole up top. She waited, and waited, and waited, then realized that the sound she was hearing in the background was _Ringfinger_ and it was coming from behind the house. She made her way around the side, up the driveway, and ended up leaning against the doorway to the garage watching Daryl work on a motorcycle in the damp heat of the late July night.

He was still wearing coveralls, mostly. He'd at least started out with them, but now the top half was unzipped and hanging down around his waist, and his torso was clad only in a dirty, grease-stained wifebeater. He was all-over muscle. Not grotesque like some bodybuilders, but the idealized form that a sculptor would seek out from a hunk of marble, all smooth planes and rippling curves. His hair was slightly longer than the one picture she'd seen of him, but still that in-between mix of blonde and brown with faint reddish highlights in his goatee and mustache. It was sticking up in several places like he'd run his fingers through it, forgetting whatever unnamed substance was on his hands at the time. She wanted to reach up and smooth his hair down. So fixated was she on the vision of reaching up and running her fingers through his hair that she didn't realize he had stopped what he'd been doing and was staring at her. They stood there for who knows how long, just looking at each other, studying each other, realizing that this was the fleshy receptacle for the person they knew only by their words and sometimes their voice. These bodies were solid, real, and waiting for each other. She let her head fall sideways, resting on the doorframe, and smiled at him. He quirked up one side of his mouth and looked up at her through the fringe of his hair, in an expression that felt so familiar to her that her heart throbbed. She would have known him anywhere, even without that low-res image on the company intranet to guide her. She wasn't sure what condition she was in after 12 hours of driving, clad in jeans, red converse sneakers, and an ancient Pinky and the Brain t-shirt that was too short and too tight but had been her good luck charm on every road trip ever, but she felt good. For the first time in a long time, she felt good.

He started toward her and they met halfway, and she was caught up in an epic embrace. Her face was resting against his chest, tucked under his chin, her arms wrapped around him but unable to settle in the middle so she found herself just running her hands up and down the smooth planes of his back until the motion rucked up his t-shirt and she was touching skin. They stilled then, content with resting on his lower back, just above the waistband of his jeans and the folds of the coveralls, resting on hot skin that yielded slightly as her clenched fingers dug in. His arms were engulfing her, giving her the sensation of sinking into him, of being completely enveloped by his warmth, his strength. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and let out a gusty sigh, and she felt all the tension in her body drain out. She was home.

"I hope you're Carol, otherwise this could be awkward," he muttered into her hair and she snorted, feeling more than hearing his rumbley laugh in response.

"Who's Carol? My name's Theresa," she said rubbing her cheek idly against his chest and nuzzling into the nape of his neck. He tensed immediately, letting out a soft hiss.

"You keep doin' that and this could get awkward anyway," he warned, half amused and half embarrassed.

She stilled, mumbling a half-sincere "sorry" then contented herself with just breathing in the mix of sweat, motor oil, and spicy-musky-Daryl scent that made her unconsciously salivate. "You smell fantastic," she mumbled again.

"Jesus, so do you," he said in a tone that sounded suspiciously like wonderment, as though he never expected her to be real enough to smell of anything.

They might have continued to stand there for the rest of the night if her stomach hadn't chosen that moment to growl, loudly, declaring it was done waiting for the nourishment she'd been promising it for the last hundred miles. "Bloody hell," she groused, wiggling a bit in embarrassment which in turn made him hiss out in warning. There was only so much he could handle at one time. She reluctantly released him and stepped back, forcing him to relax his grip on her but he didn't drop his arms completely, she was still within the circle of them. "That thing got a hair trigger or what?" She smirked at him, enjoying his dark blush but regretting it instantly when his eyes began to gleam wickedly.

"Hair trigger but a solid grip. You might want to try a few practice shots sometime." He smirked at her as she blushed in return.

Her face split into a grin as she took up the challenge. "Maybe. But I really prefer the big guns, you know, the kind with a lot of kick. Can you guarantee my satisfaction?"

His eyes shifted instantly from bright blue, an amused sparkle, to a dark smolder. He slowly licked his lips before purring "It gets the job done," in a deep, gravelly voice that caused her thighs to clench and her stomach to flutter. "But what's important is that we guarantee that whatever job we take on, we don't stop until every need is met. Sometimes multiple times, to assure satisfaction."

"That's...that's an admirable work ethic," she stuttered, suddenly very aware that they were not hundreds of miles apart and flirting over airwaves or chat channels. All of her self-doubts came crowding back in, causing her to question everything from his true level of interest to his level of disappointment when she didn't measure up. From everything she'd ever heard, she was just not very good at any of this sex stuff. He watched her transform from sultry temptress to trembling mass of inhibitions and neuroses between one heartbeat and the next, and felt a stab of anger at the man who had brutalized her into this state of doubt and fear. He slowly drew his arms away but let one hand trail down her arm and catch hold of her hand, small and fragile in his grip, and without saying anything he flipped off the stereo and the lights, depressed the thumb lock and shut the door, then lead her back down the driveway toward the house.

"C'mon, let's get you some food," he said, looking back at her with a soft smile. "There's plenty of time for your shenanigans later." He was pleased to see that had the desired effect, her sense of humor kicked in and she smirked right back at him.

"MY shenanigans?" she asked, looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

"You heard me," he tossed over his shoulder as he reached the side door and tried to fish out the keys in his right pocket with his left hand, to no avail. He tried to transfer her hand from his right to his left, thinking he could maneuver it so she'd have her back pressed against his chest under the guise of reaching to unlock and open the door, but she dropped his hand and stepped away, looking out towards the street while he fumbled with the door.

He gave her a quick tour, changing out of his coveralls and sweaty tank into a plain black t-shirt while she used the restroom and cleaned up a bit, then they unloaded her car while waiting for the pizza he ordered. He asked when the rest of her stuff was going to arrive and seemed shocked when she shrugged and said that this was it. "Ed didn't like clutter."

She had them carry everything up to her room except a large wooden crate that she asked to leave in the living room for the time being. As he was carrying in the last box he saw her standing at the side of the bed looking down at the vase of tulips, lightly rubbing the petals of one bloom between her fingers. She looked up at him and smiled, nodding at the flowers. "This is really nice of you. They're beautiful."

The way she looked at him, the tone of her voice, it made him blush and look away. "Thank you," he mumbled, "but it was Tara's idea."

Her smile got wider. "Oh yeah? She's sweet."

"Abe said I should have warm cookies waiting for you, like hotels do. So there are cookies for later."

She laughed, shaking her head. "You sent out the bat signal? Who's idea was the fancy bath oil?"

"Oh, that was mine. But the others approved."

"What else did you do in the time it took me to drive here?"

"Umm...coffee machine and a year's supply of coca-cola compliments of Glenn, and new sheets and pillows. Oh, and we both got new mattresses." She raised both eyebrows at that, glancing over at the bed. "Your bed was all lumpy from Glenn's dense ass. He don't look it, he's skinny as shit, but I swear he's got bones like a fuckin' Basset Hound. So I picked out a new mattress and it was so comfortable I decided I needed one too."

She touched her face and he realized she was wiping at her cheek, and the soft light from the bedside lamp reflected off the moisture gathered in her eyes. She didn't look at him, she hugged her arms around herself, still staring at the bed. "You are the best man I know," she whispered, "I can't believe you did all this for me."

He wanted to say "I'd do anything for you" but knew this wasn't the time. Instead he grunted, and shrugged, and blew it off with "It ain't nothin'. I want you to be comfortable."

She didn't say anything for a long time, just stared at that bed while he stared at her, then gave a little shudder and seemed to pull herself together. She turned to him, the barest traces of tears on her cheeks and her eyes suspiciously bright but her smile was genuine and warm, and she motioned him out of the room and followed him down to the living room. The pizza arrived and they sat together on the couch, eating straight from the box, in a companionable silence and grunts of appreciation for the food. He was glad to see that she packed in three whole pieces and didn't just pick at her food. She was tiny and fragile seeming, but it wasn't from self-imposed starvation. At one point she nodded over at the crate and said "My most prized possession is inside that box. If you don't mind, I might want to hang it up in here? It...it's kind of perfect for this house."

He nodded at her, saying, "You know, you live here now. You can put your stuff wherever you want and you don't have to ask permission." She smiled at him weakly and he tensed, realizing that her decision to stay wasn't completely solidified in her mind anymore, and the four slices of pizza he'd already wolfed down formed a lump in his gut. She was already finished and had edged away from him a little, so he fought his instinct to reach for her and sat back instead, licking the grease from his fingers. He did notice, despite her not-so-subtle attempts to distance herself, that her eyes followed every move of his hand and mouth as he cleaned off the remnants of dinner, almost mesmerized by it. He slowed down, taking his time, enjoying how big her eyes got and how her lips parted just slightly as her breathing picked up, but when the tip of her little pink tongue darted out, licking her bottom lip, he felt his dick begin to stir and he groaned reflexively, the sound breaking the spell and causing her to flush beet red and retreat to the far corner of the giant sectional sofa. He regretted buying such a large fucking couch, but moved back towards his own corner and pulled one of the loose throw pillows into his lap hoping she didn't realize the significance.

"I was going to tell you, you know. As soon as you got here."

She shrugged, still a little disconcerted by her reaction to him, and looked down at her hands. "I believe you. And even though I know why you did it, it still doesn't change that you lied to me. And it doesn't change that I heard about it from Rick Grimes of all people."

"I know. And I'd like to say that I regret it or I wish I hadn't tricked you like that, but you'd already decided that this was a bad idea without even thinkin' about it, and it's not a bad idea. It's a really fuckin' good idea. So I woulda said anything right then to get you to agree to move down here."

"Why?"

"You got friends here, and nothin' needs to change with your job, and you're safe from Ed now. I have the room, and havin' you here I don't have to worry about you, and if Ed ever showed up here and tried anythin', I'd fuckin' kill him. And if I didn't, Abe would or Glenn would, or fuck, Tara would rip him to pieces. And you don't have to worry about money. I'm already coverin' all the bills and the house payment on my own, so you just need to relax and take care of yourself and stop worryin' about shit for awhile. It's a fuckin' good idea and you know it."

"No," she said, shaking her head at him, "why is it so important to you that I move down here? Why is it so important that I'm safe, why do you worry about me? Why are all these people so willing to defend me? Why is Rick Grimes trying to convince me to stay with him instead? I don't understand any of this. I'm just your co-worker." She was genuinely confused by all of it, and that made him so sad. And fucking furious at Ed for hollowing out all the places inside her that should have been filled with confidence, and self-worth, and love.

"Because you're important. To me. To all of us. You're a fuckin' superhero to Tara, Eugene worships you, Jesus has already said he'd go straight for you. You're just...Carol. And that means something."

"I'm just a goddamn computer programmer!" She was frustrated, and that made her angry, and she forgot to be defensive or self-conscious or wary. She sat forward, one hand fisted on the couch cushion and the other gesturing wildly as she spoke, her eyes blazing, and he swore she grew about six inches taller. He wouldn't have been surprised if she turned green and put on enough muscle to bust through her clothes at that moment. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his life."What the hell? I. DON'T. UNDERSTAND."

"You ain't just anything, Carol. You're fuckin' amazing. I've known you're amazin' for years, but I didn't even realize the scope of HOW amazin' until yesterday. I gotta say," he said, shaking his head as she sank back in the couch cushions, more perplexed now than frustrated. "I'm kinda with Tara now. You ARE a fuckin' superhero."

She stared at the fireplace and he watched her try to process what he said, and he could tell it still didn't make sense to her. He'd promised her the truth, and it wasn't what he expected to be telling her but it was what she needed.

"I was 23 or so when I got my job, fresh outta college. It was intimidatin' to say the least, and I had struggled a bit in school because I didn't know everythin' I should have goin' in. We don't ever talk about these things so you wouldn't know this, but I had a shitty fuckin' childhood. My mom died when I was young, my dad was a drunk asshole who beat on me and my brother for kicks, and my brother has been in and out of jail since he was a teenager." Her eyes got wide and her mouth crinkled in an expression of shock. He could see the guilt already beginning to form a barrier, because she didn't know and thought she should have, because she didn't somehow understand implicitly that this was something he suffered and it was her fault that she hadn't ever comforted him or fixed it for him. "Don't do this, Carol, don't fuckin' take this on yourself. You didn't know because I didn't tell you, and for the same reason why you didn't tell me that Ed was beatin' on you. You start feelin' guilty then that means I get to feel guilty and responsible too, because it's exactly the same." She considered it for a moment then nodded, willing to concede his point. "My dad died when I was 15 and it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me even though I didn't think so at the time. I ended up in the system, had a few different foster families, but mostly lived in youth housing until I was 18. I got a full ride to Georgia State because of it, I fulfilled a quota I guess, and I was able to get my degree in only five years despite everythin'. So when I started workin' with you, I was not...overly confident...with my abilities. I was pretty much terrified, every single day, that Karen would finally realize that I got hired by mistake and let me go, so I tried to keep my head down and not draw attention to myself.

"Instead of that, I got you. Everyone there knows you're the best goddamn programmer we got, and most people agree you're the best they've ever known from any job. You know your shit, and no one knows why Google or some other way more important company hasn't lured you away. I was so fuckin' scared to work with you, I was sure I'd screw somethin' up and I wanted so badly to impress you that I know I was babblin' like an idiot the first time we talked and I was sure you were gonna tell Karen not to let me work on your tickets anymore. And instead, you sent emails to me and Karen praisin' me for doin' such a good job. Then you deferred people to me, tellin' them that I was the man to go to for the information they needed. You asked my opinion in meetings, in front of all those people, and then listened to my ideas. You ran things by me, wanting MY opinion on YOUR work, and you told clients that I was the reason their problems got solved. By name. You told them that Daryl Dixon was the hero who saved the day. We weren't even friends when this started, we had barely spoken at that point, so it wasn't because of some loyalty to me. You fuckin' treated me with respect, made me feel like I was worth somethin', and no one else in my entire life had done that." He shook his head at her. She still didn't seem to understand. "You do that with everyone, Carol, every single person who has worked with you has the same stories about how you made them feel like fuckin' stars, like the most important people in the room, and you make sure every goddamn manager and VP and client knows how much you value the opinion of some lowly tech or tester or junior programmer. Even if you don't work with them, even if you just hear something good about somebody, you make a point to tell that person how good they are, how appreciated they are, and you don't care if it's the guy cleaning the bathrooms or the fuckin' CEO. I heard you once told Blake that he did a great job on some presentation, that he really knew his shit, and Olivia said that he was grinnin' for the next two days. He brought in doughnuts for the whole fuckin' office because you praised him.

"And if all of this wasn't enough, I find out yesterday that you've set up your entire team to not only succeed, but do so without havin' to compromise or suck up or deal with any of the politics around the office. You went in behind the scenes, not tellin' anyone, and guaranteed not only our jobs but our fuckin' SALARIES, and in a way that turned us into fuckin' superstars to the higher ups. I couldn't figure out why none of us were gettin' shuffled around to work on some of the shitty projects that always end up with one of us takin' blame for poor design or poor decisions. I couldn't figure out why a lot of that was even changin' altogether — not just for us but for everyone it seems, like the fuckin' corporate overlords finally came to their senses and realized that the grunts in the field were the ones fightin' the battles not givin' the orders. Fuckin' Milton Mamet tried to blame Jesus for a release having to be pushed back, claimin' QA was the bottleneck, and Blake shut him down in the meetin', in front of the client, and said no bottlenecks form in a vacuum and every person in the room contributed to the schedule issues, including the client who needed to make some key decisions before things could proceed. You think that kinda thing just happens? We're goin' from a culture of blame to a culture of actual teamwork and support, and people are fuckin' happy to come into work in the mornin'. And that's all you, Carol. You did that. You're the reason Tara has a job. You're the reason they hired Rosita as a PM and promoted her to tech lead and she's fuckin' killin' it. You're the reason why our new CTO is a dreadlocked black lady named Michonne and not some fuckin' old white dude. You're why I have a house, and Glenn is gonna propose to Maggie, and why Abe and Tara and Jesus and Rick would all cut off their own goddamn hand to be on your team. Do you get it now?"

She was crying, had been since he started talking, silent tears streaming down her cheeks as she listened to him but unable to look at him. She wasn't used to hearing good things about herself, not like this, not with this level of conviction behind the praise and certainly not getting credit for doing things that mattered _this much_ to so many people. "That I'm apparently fuckin' amazing?" She said, smiling ruefully down at her hands, clenched together in her lap. She still didn't sound like she believed it but he'd work on that. Just like she did for him.

"You are. And that's why when you say things like you're a worthless piece of shit, or that you're pathetic, or that some useless asshole was goddamn hurting you and making you feel like you didn't matter and you didn't deserve anything good, that's why I would say or do anything to get you away from him. Even lie to you. Even pretend I don't—"

"Don't. Please." She interrupted him, looking desperate. "There's no way for that sentence to end that doesn't mess me up right now. Good or bad, I can't...I can't handle any more changes." She was pleading with him, leaning forward in supplication and it was killing him not to reassure her, not to do whatever he could to just make her feel good again. "I'm broken, Daryl, and I think being here might help me fix myself, but it's gotta be ME fixing myself. I can't risk depending on someone else right now, no matter how much I might hope or want someone to make me feel better. Make me feel whole. You're my best friend, you have been for years, even when we weren't speaking and there was no hope in me that you'd ever want me around again, you were still the best friend I ever had. I take back every mean or bad thing I ever said to you, I take back every doubt I ever had. I am begging you to let me stay here with you, in your house, and be a part of your life again so that I can have my best friend back because he's the only thing that makes me feel strong and capable and worthy. I don't care what you do or what you say, I don't care if you've lied to me or if there's bodies buried in the yard, or if you want me to just stay out of your way and in my room, just please give me time here with you to fix all the broken pieces in my head."

He wanted to cry. She was giving him everything and taking it away at the same time, but he had to hope that it wasn't always going to be like this, that once she felt "fixed" she'd be open to...more from him. More _with_ him. That as important as it was to him, he wouldn't just be her best friend, because he'd never been so confident in what he felt for anyone as he was with this woman. She was the love of his life, and everything he was and everything he had was for her. It was all for her. He nodded at her, reaching out to take her hand and just held it in his. "I told you I won't lie to you and I mean it, but I appreciate you trustin' me to make that decision on my own. Everythin' else is just silly. I want you here, I want you in my house and in my life, and I don't want you hidin' in your room or thinkin' of this place as anythin' but your home too. I know what it's like to be adrift, Carol, to not have a place of your own, and as far as I'm concerned, this whole house and yard and fuck, even the neighborhood, is just as much yours as mine. So there's no question of me givin' you time here or you wonderin' if the other shoe will drop and I'll make you leave. Matter of fact, if I do anythin' that makes you uncomfortable or unwelcome then you have every right to ask me to stay out of YOUR way and keep to my room. Because you are the reason I have this place, this life, and letting you finally be here to claim your piece of it is just how it should be. This is our house." He smiled at her, and she hiccuped a little from the crying. "Just don't tear up the front yard without talkin' to me because I put a lot of work into it and would like to salvage what I can."

She smiled at him, wiping her eyes, and nodded. "Okay," she whispered, then kept wiping at her cheeks because the tears kept coming.

"Carol, can I...can we...goddammit..." he shrugged at her helplessly, "can I just hold you for a bit? Because you're cryin' and you're actually really here for real, and I've missed you so fuckin' much..." She nodded, sniffling and giving him a shy smile, and he got up from the couch and walked to her end of it, then picked her up in his arms and settled down right where she'd been but now she was on his lap with one of his arms around her back and the other wrapped around from the front, just holding her against his chest with her head tucked under his chin. She curled one hand into the front of his shirt, the other tucked under his arm tracing light circles on his tricep. He kissed the top of her head as she let out a contented sigh.

They sat that way for what felt like forever and no time at all, and he very carefully kept his hands on neutral ground, limiting himself to an occasional soft kiss on the crown of her head, and just enjoyed the feeling of having her there in his arms. She was more than he ever thought she'd be: more beautiful, kinder, stronger, and more fragile. After a time he gave her a squeeze and said softly, "can I ask you for somethin' else?"

She didn't hesitate, just nodded, trusting he wouldn't ask for something she wasn't ready to give.

"Can I take a picture of us, like this?" She sucked in her breath just slightly, a minuscule hiss, and tensed just a bit. "I'd like it for me, but I was also hoping to send it to the group, so they'd know everythin' was okay between us."

She chuckled. "Rick in that group?"

"He was, but he left it. I was gonna text it to him separately," he said smugly. She giggled then nodded.

"Okay, as long as you aren't using your powers for evil..."

"I promise not to caption it 'Suck it, Rick' — that good enough?"

"It'll do."

He fished out his phone and held it up in front of them, and they both smiled as he tapped the button. The picture was too close, just their faces: his chin resting on her head, his wide-ass grin matched by hers, but it was weird. She took the camera from him and held it out farther, using both hands and leaning back into him to get it at a slight angle. She snapped a few pictures then they both looked at the final shots onscreen.

He thought maybe they were the best pictures in the history of photography.

She was pressed back against him, her head resting on his shoulder. He had his cheek pressed against her head, that same wide-ass grin that he was sure was now permanently affixed to his face, and his arms were wrapped around her torso. Her arms were pointed straight in front of her holding the phone, pressed together enough that she gave herself the effects of a push-up bra, enough so that even Tara might be happy. She was grinning too, and her face was still flushed from all the emotion so her eyes were practically glowing neon blue. She was gorgeous, and she was clearly sitting on his lap, and looked damn comfortable doing so.

"I'm going to post that last one, if that's okay," he said. She nodded, still in his lap with her back against him, but her face was turned to rest against his chest and he looked down at her and could see her eyes closing right before she let out a big yawn. He should have made her go to bed right then, but tonight was his grace period and he didn't know what she'd allow as far as contact and touching after this, so instead he sank back into the corner of the couch and provided a much better angle for sleeping. Her breathing got deeper and more even, and she twisted a bit so that her back no longer pressed against him, now it was her front and she was snuggling deeper into his arms with her knees pulled up and one arm wrapped around his back while the other rested on his chest near her cheek, her hand fisted in his shirt. She looked so tiny like that, so delicate and fragile curled up against him. Such a small thing to carry so much, be so much to so many. He held up his phone and snapped another picture, feeling a little creepy about it but wanting something to remind him of this feeling in case she never allowed him to hold her while sleeping again. He felt so protective of her in that moment, a surge of emotion at the thought of someone like Ed ever laying a hand on her, an impulse to violence he'd never known before and it was so reminiscent of his father that it scared him. She stirred a bit, reacting to the increase in his heart rate, and he forced himself to relax again, to think of pleasanter things, like the intoxicating scent of her hair or how soft her skin was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Nerd Club  
** **1:13 AM**

Daryl: {{ _image posted_ }}

Daryl: she's here :)

Glenn: holy crap, that's really her?

Tara: fuck she's beautiful

Glenn: her hair is really silver? I thought that was just the lighting

Tara: she's got a nice rack too

Glenn: she looks like a FF character

Tara: SHE DOES! OMG

Tara: She looks just like Hope Estheim from XIII

Tara: I mean, that's a boy, but still...

Glenn: saying she looks like a 14 year old boy in a Final Fantasy game in no way detracts from her overall prettiness as a grown woman.

Tara: true dat. Most of the men in FF are prettier than the women. If her hair was longer, she could be Kuja.

Glenn: if her hair was longer and she had a penis.

Daryl: she does not have a penis. I'm almost certain of that.

Abraham: But you don't know for sure yet? Get on that, man.

Abraham: in a manner of speaking...

Tara: NO! Don't...

Tara: not yet. Please?

Daryl: ?

Tara: at least not until after Saturday. Give me a fighting chance...

Glenn: HAHAHAHA

Daryl: ...

Abraham: judging from the picture, you have no chance.

Tara: what do you mean?

Abraham: she's sitting on his lap.

Tara: noooooooo...

Daryl: you are correct, sir.

Glenn: but you can't say for sure yet whether she has a penis?

Daryl: no. :(

Jesus: let me try to understand this...you two had a decently intense online flirtation going for a long time. Like a couple years?

Daryl: yessss. But she was married. And kind of like my boss without being my boss.

Abraham: kinky. I like it.

Jesus: you effectively "broke up" and she split with her husband that night.

Daryl: yes...but I didn't know any of that.

Jesus: but you found that out, and that she was in a bad place, and offered her a place to stay if she moved — what? 600+ miles?

Daryl: around 700. Yes.

Jesus: and that was YESTERDAY

Daryl: yes.

Jesus: and she arrived when?

Daryl: around 8-ish?

Jesus: and you took this picture when?

Daryl: around 11-ish...

Jesus: so within 3 hours of arriving and meeting in-person for the first time, she ended up on your lap taking pictures

Daryl: yes.

Jesus: but you're here chatting with us...where is she right now?

Daryl: asleep.

Jesus: she went to bed?

Daryl: not exactly...

Tara: what does that mean?

Glenn: Daryl?

Daryl: {{ _image posted_ }}

Glenn: is that...your shirt?

Daryl: yesss...

Jesus: so she fell asleep

Jesus: on you

Jesus: how long ago?

Daryl: like an hour or so ago...

Jesus: and you took that picture when?

Daryl: like an hour or so ago...

Tara: !

Abraham: umm

Tara: FOR ONCE I'M NOT THE CREEPIEST ONE IN THE ROOM

Jesus: she still there, same position?

Daryl: pretty much. She was really tired, and I didn't want to wake her.

Jesus: so you're chatting with us while this beautiful woman is asleep on top of you, a beautiful woman you've been in love with for years

Daryl: pretty much. :(

Jesus: if I had the authority of my name, I would canonize you.

Jesus: you, sir, are a saint.

Glenn: we're going with "saint"? Because I'd say "pervert" is a better fit

Tara: it really is

Abraham: I'm with them. That's some fucked up shit right there.

Jesus: how so?

Glenn: well, I'm guessing he didn't take the picture with the intent of sharing it with us.

Daryl: no. :(

Glenn: so you really just took it because you wanted a picture of her asleep.

Glenn: on you.

Daryl: yes.

Glenn: and you're giving short answers to everything because you're typing one handed.

Daryl: NOT LIKE THAT  
Tara: not yet...

Glenn: no, of course not. Because your other hand is...

Daryl: holding her in place. :(

Daryl: sounds worse than it is.

Abraham: no, I think it sounds just about right.

Tara: I'll be in my bunk...

Jesus: he's a saint because despite everything, all he did was take a picture.

Jesus: vagina or not, I would have been all over that shit

Tara: in a fucking heartbeat

Glenn: but she's hurting and sad and messed up

Tara: and he loves her

Jesus: so he's letting her sleep on top of him and not trying anything

Glenn: giving her all the space she needs

Tara: Daryl, I'd be willing to overlook the presence of your penis if you'd be my boyfriend

Jesus: I'd be more than happy *not* to overlook your penis if you'd be mine

Daryl: hey hey hey, just hold on a sec. who says you could just "overlook" my penis? It's got a pretty fucking obvious presence, okay? There'll be no overlooking it.

Jesus: like I said, I would be more than happy to respect and even celebrate the presence of your penis

Glenn: This is Maggie, and Daryl, you're fucking amazing. I'd dump Glenn for you if I thought I had a chance.

Glenn: still Maggie, and I would not overlook your penis. I've heard enough from Glenn to know that's impossible.

Glenn: thanks...that's just fucking terrific

Jesus: oh jesus. All that mancake wasn't enough, now I have to hear this?

Daryl: "mancake"?

Jesus: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Tara: you know, a big slice of manliness. With your arms, and your shoulders, and that ass...

Daryl: ...

Tara: I'm gay, I'm not blind.

Daryl: I'm really uncomfortable with this conversation.

Glenn: I'm really fucking uncomfortable right now

Abraham: hey, what does that make me?

Jesus: you're just a big red panda, Abe, and I'd let you climb me like I was bamboo

Abraham: damn right. Daryl's not the only mancake around here

Jesus: definitely not, but Abe? No offense, but you're just a dream fuck. Daryl there is boyfriend material

Abraham: I can live with that.

Tara: all these things: truth

Glenn: Maggie again: agreed.

Daryl: I don't know how I should feel about any of this. I guess I should be flattered?

Jesus: you should feel flattered

Tara: definitely flattered.

Glenn: Maggie: flattered.

Glenn: disturbed

Tara: this is too confusing

 _Tara Chambler has added Maggie Greene_

Tara: there we go.

Maggie: Thank you!

Abraham: I just looked up the red panda. They aren't that big. They are actually smaller than regular pandas.

Jesus: you're a dire red panda?

Abraham: okay, NOW I'm happy.

Maggie: what's a dire red panda?

Glenn: she doesn't play D&D

Glenn: or watch GoT

Tara: we need to fix that

Maggie: dammit, Glenn! I told you not to out me

Glenn: guys, you should know that my girlfriend is a muggle

Maggie: I know what *that* means :(

Tara: don't worry. Maggie, I'll be your guide through nerdom.

Glenn: stay away from her, Tara.

Abraham: if by "guide" you mean you'll make her your prison bitch

Tara: I'M TRYING TO BE NICE TO THE STRAIGHT GIRL

Abraham: Bullshit

Glenn: Bullshit

Daryl: Bullshit

Jesus: Bullshit

Tara: fuck off, all y'all

Maggie: Tara, I'd love for you to guide me through all these new things. I mean, they are familiar, yet different at the same time. Like I know all the parts, but in a different context.

Tara: so you're...curious? About trying new things?

Maggie: oh yes, VERY curious. But not completely new. Like I said, there's some familiarity...I dabbled a bit in college

Tara: oh?

Abraham: go on.

Daryl: you need to explain that, in detail

Maggie: Oh, sure. I played in a LARP for Vampire: The Masquerade once. It was a lot of fun.

Glenn: I fucking love you, Maggie

Tara: you're a fucking tease, Maggie

Daryl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Abraham: this story is going to end differently when I think about it later...

Jesus: Bless you, my child. That was well played.

Glenn: she still asleep?

Daryl: yup. Out cold. But when I started laughing just now, she gouged me with her nails, so that's a thing...

Abraham: niiiiice

Tara: war wounds!

Daryl: I should probably sign off though.

Maggie: are you going to sleep on the couch all night? Or are you going to carry her up to bed?

Glenn: are you going to be all chivalrous and offer her your bed since the mattress in my old room is so awful?

Daryl: got new ones today

Tara: stay or carry? Answer the question

Glenn: you got new what?

Daryl: don't know, haven't decided. Mattresses

Glenn: you bought her a new bed? More than one?

Daryl: went to buy one for her, discovered it was way more fuckin' comfortable than my bed so I bought one for myself too

Maggie: you bought her a new mattress just so she'd be comfortable? That's it, Glenn, I'm leaving you for Daryl.

Tara: you don't know the half of it.

Maggie: ?

Tara: did you get her flowers?

Daryl: yep, bouquet of her favorite kind in a vase by the bed

Abraham: cookies?

Daryl: yes but never got a chance to make them. She fell asleep.

Glenn: coffee?

Daryl: bought a big espresso machine. The thing is a monster. I had to watch a video to figure out how to use it. Also stocked up on coke.

Tara: smelly bath stuff?

Daryl: yes. :) jasmine and honeysuckle. But she smells fucking amazing without that stuff so I may get rid of it.

Maggie: oh. Oh wow.

Glenn: hey! I helped!

Daryl: you did. It was your dense as shit bones that sunk in the mattress so I had to replace it.

Glenn: and I told you about her sweet dark goddesses

Tara: just reading that gives me a hard on

Maggie: excuse me?

Glenn: Carol loves coffee and coke. Calls them her sweet dark goddesses.

Tara: /fap fap fap fap

Daryl: what is wrong with you?!

Tara: not a damn thing

"Daryl?" Her voice was thick with sleep and she was rubbing at her eyes and it was so adorable he wanted to die right then because he couldn't just kiss her non-stop for the next ten years. She looked up at him from his chest, blinking her big blue eyes and giving him the sweetest, sleepiest smile, and his heart went into overdrive. She didn't notice or chose to ignore it because she rested her chin on his sternum and the arm behind his back gripped him in a tight squeeze, and she gave a contented sigh. "I must still be dreaming. No way you're real." She closed her eyes again and nuzzled her face against him. "I don't want to wake up. Just want to stay with you."

He carefully hit the button to lock his phone screen — no need for Carol to see THAT conversation — and then gingerly brought both arms back around her and tilted his head down, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "I'll still be here when you wake," he rumbled gently, "I promise."

He knew the exact moment when she realized where she was. She hummed contentedly, rubbing her face on his shirt, slid her loose hand up to caress the scruff on his cheek then froze, her fingers barely ghosting his lips. He kissed her fingertips, running his mouth and chin over them, and then kissed them again as she slowly raised her head up from his chest and met his eye.

"Mornin', sunshine," he said softly, smiling at her.

"Oh god, Daryl, I'm so sorry." She looked horrified, snatching her hand back and setting it on his chest, then realizing that she was still touching him somewhat familiarly, folding it against her and letting it rest on her own shoulder. Then she seemed to realize that where her hand was was the least of it because she was still on his lap, but now lying draped across his chest and had been rubbing her face on him up until a moment ago. Her face began to flame up as she tried to peel herself off of him, but his arms were still very much around her and holding her in place.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not sorry. You've been on the road since the wee hours of the mornin' and I'm glad you were comfortable enough here, with me, to fall asleep like that. That's what I want."

"You want to be my pillow?" She asked, one eyebrow cocked and a chagrined smirk on her face.

"And blanket," he said, nodding earnestly. She scrunched her eyes closed and gave a quick shake of her head like she was dislodging an unwelcome thought so he kept the innocent, guileless expression on his face. She cracked open one eye and considered him, then seemed to buy that it was all said with innocent intentions. "You can use me however you want."

Her breath hitched almost imperceptibly — if she hadn't been lying on top of him, he probably wouldn't have known, and he mentally made another hash mark in his Points column. She eyed him for a moment longer, then seemed to accept it again, and hesitantly let her hand fall back onto his chest. "Thank you. It's nice, being this close to someone. To you. I...I like it. I feel...safe." He almost caved in that moment, almost gave away everything he was feeling, everything it was doing to him to be this close to her because it felt shitty to use her fear of her ex to his advantage. But he told himself that wasn't his intention, that may be her reaction but it wasn't his purpose here so he didn't need to confess his feelings like they were a sin.

He resolved to do a bit less of the gaslighting and said, gravely, "You are safe with me. I won't let anyone hurt you, and I will try my damnedest not to hurt you myself. I know I can be a dick sometimes, but I'm not bein' mean. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't say anythin' at all."

"That has got to be the lamest excuse for jackassery I've ever heard. I'm only a dick to you because I like you? Are you in fourth grade?" She was getting fired up, and he loved watching the sparks start going off in her eyes as her voice got louder and snarkier in tone. "Do I need to chase you around the playground and knock you down?"

"Only if that's your excuse to kiss me," he said, grinning at her. "You girls only had one thing in mind back then, and you were all bigger than us boys."

"Yeah, but you spend the rest of your lives punishing us for it." She said, laughing, but then her laughter died as she thought about the truth in that statement but he saw the anxiety start to build again and stopped it.

"Hey, none of that. Not all of us. Some of us liked kissing little girls." He paused. "Wow, out of context that sounds really bad." She started giggling and then just lost it, laughing so hard her eyes were streaming tears and she was rolling around on him clutching her gut and howling. He wished he had the balls to pick up his phone and record this because it was about the most endearing thing he'd ever seen: Carol losing her shit and laughing until she cried over a pedophilia joke. No one would believe him. She kept muttering "kissing little girls" and then losing it again, and he knew it made him a horrible human being but every time she said it, he wanted to rip off her clothes and go down on her until she was screaming his name. Her laughing like that, red faced and out of breath, clutching her gut or holding on to him as she lost all sense of balance, completely lost in her reactions and oblivious to everything else...he was pretty sure this was what she'd look like when she came, and her eyes would glow like this and be just as unfocused, and her limbs would be just as limp with exhaustion afterward, and she'd look up at him with just as much joy as she was doing right now, and he smiled down at how she was now sprawled across him, any self-imposed boundaries out the window, her head lolling against his arm and her ass grinding into his pelvis with every shudder and shake. He thought that he could lean down and kiss her right then, with as much passion as he could pour into it, and she wouldn't fight it at all, she'd give in to the moment and her own impulses, and he could finally have a taste of what he'd been longing for most of his adult life.

But he held back.

This was too important to blow it by moving too fast, too soon. He might get what he wanted now, they might even end up fucking like rabbits, but in the morning she'd second-guess everything and he never wanted to be something she'd regret. Instead, he scooped her back up in his arms and stood up, smiling down on her, and carried her up the stairs to her room where he deposited her on the bed. He ignored how her hands were reaching for him, and leaned in to give her a chaste peck on the forehead. "Sleep tight. I'll see you in the mornin'." He stood back, pretending not to notice the confused and hurt look on her face, and said, "I took tomorrow off to get you settled in and show you around. And if you're okay with it, I invited a bunch of people over on Saturday to grill out and spend some quality time with you. That okay?"

"Sure," she said, quietly, bracing herself up on her elbows, and he could tell she was on the verge of tears, so he stepped back to the doorway and shook his head at her.

"Don't think I don't want to be right there beside you...Fuck...No, I want nothing more than to be right there on _top_ of you, Carol, but that's not what you want, not really, despite what you're feelin' right now. This ain't me rejectin' you, not by any means. It's taking everythin' I got to stay over here. I won't do anythin' that's going to make you uncomfortable in your own home. I'm lettin' you set the boundaries, but I hope you'll keep in mind how...difficult it is for me to walk away right now." He left the room and shut the door, the hungry look on her face too much for him to resist any longer, and he thought he might have heard "then don't" very faintly. He had to fight every instinct in him that wanted to step back through that door and ravage her like a goddamn Viking. That was the second time in less than an hour that the impulse to go primal and take her like a fucking caveman almost won out over good sense and the trappings of civilization, and it would frighten him if what little blood remaining outside of his throbbing hard-on wasn't already boiling with lust and fleeing the thought-center thing inside his skull.

He flew down the stairs, skipping most of them, snatched up his phone and fled to the porch, flipping on the ceiling fan but leaving all the lights off. He lit a smoke with shaking hands and unlocked his phone, skipping the group chat and texting Glenn.

 _DD: [[ I don't know if I can do this. ]]_

 _GR: [[ What do you mean? What happened? Did you guys get into another fight? ]]_

 _DD: [[ I WISH. No, she woke up, then got all adorable, then started laughing her ass off at some terrible thing I said, and ended up rolling all over me and looking up at me like she wanted nothing more in the world than for me to kiss her. ]]_

 _GR: [[ What did you do? ]]_

 _DD: [[ I carried her up to her bed and kissed her on the forehead, then walked away. But not before telling her that my fondest wish right then was to fuck her senseless because she thought I was rejecting her and was about to cry. ]]_

 _GR: [[ how'd she take that? ]]_

 _DD: [[ me wanting to fuck her? By asking me to stay. ]]_

 _DD: [[ THIS IS KILLING ME. ]]_

 _GR: [[ You did the right thing. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I fucking know that. That doesn't make it easier. ]]_

 _GR: [[ This is Maggie. You did the right thing. ]]_

 _DD: [[ /sigh Hi Maggie. Just so I know, do you read everything Glenn gets? ]]_

 _GR: [[ I don't know, maybe? I mean, I'm reading this because his phone dinged right in the middle of foreplay and he didn't even hesitate to pick it up, so I figured if you were going to cockblock me at least I should get to see what's going on. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Glenn, you dumbass! I can't believe you answered your phone ]]_

 _GR: [[ My friend is going through a rough time and could be in crisis. Of course I had to answer you. Besides, Maggie is insatiable, and this is the third time TODAY. I'm not a fucking machine. You texting me was like a union worker getting their mandatory 15 minute break. Yeah, I said it, Maggie. Your constant need for sex is making me think I need a labor negotiator to set some goddamn limits on your demands. ]]_

 _DD: [[ dude. ]]_

 _GR: [[ whatever. She hit me and locked herself in the bathroom. Maybe she'll take advantage of the shower massager and I'll get a night off. ]]_

 _DD: [[ dude. ]]_

 _GR: [[ look, I know how fucking lucky I am, okay? And normally I'm the best goddamn worker in the union, but sometimes I really just want to cuddle. Sometimes I want to kiss my girlfriend in public without having to worry about getting groped or dragged into her childhood bedroom to get a blow job while lying in a pile of stuffed animals. While her dad is downstairs watching NASCAR. ]]_

 _DD: [[ okay, that's fair. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I didn't think it was possible, but you managed to distract me enough that I'm no longer on the verge of kicking in her door and jumping her bones. I think I can last through the night, so thank you for planting that image of you getting a hummer surrounded by teddy bears and pretty dollies. That's going to be my go-to boner killer for a long time. ]]_

 _GR: [[ you're welcome. And "jumping her bones"? What are you, one of the Mad Men? ]]_


	5. Chapter 5

Carol woke up at 6:30, the same time she woke up every day whether she was working or not. She laid in bed for a bit, staring at the ceiling and thinking about how different things were just 48 hours ago. How alone she'd been in that depressing hotel, and the most she had to look forward to was figuring out what city she could move to and afford her own place long-term, especially if Ed continued to default on loan payments and credit cards that were in both their names. Somehow he managed to open up lines of credit and get new cards that she didn't even know about until payments were three months or more overdue and collection agencies were calling her at work. He walked out on their house, calling the bank and telling them to foreclose on it, and she only found out because the loan officer called her. He credit score had dropped almost 200 points in six months and that was just the financial aspect of it. Ed had also been following her.

She saw his car outside the grocery store when she was picking up dinner on her way home one night. She thought it was his but didn't think anything of it, but then she saw it pass by as she parked her car outside her hotel. The car circled the lot and stopped just behind her car as she stood at the door to the hotel with her keycard poised to slide into the reader, her bag of groceries and laptop bag both hanging off her. The car stopped and she froze, so convinced that he was going to roll down the window to reveal a gun and then shoot her right there that she couldn't believe it when the car idled for a time then took off. But then it was back again, showing up in her rearview sometime after she left work and following her wherever she went. And again.

She tried ignoring him. She tried confronting him. She tried calling the police, getting a restraining order, switching hotels multiple times, but he was always there. Hovering. Following. Watching. Waiting.

She tried to live a normal life, but found herself hiding out in the hotel when she wasn't at work. Even on weekends, she was too paranoid and too frightened to go anywhere, so she spent every waking hour either at her desk at work or at her desk in her room, trying desperately to keep from creeping over to the window and looking out to see Ed without him seeing her.

But now? Now she was waking up on soft sheets on a comfortable bed that no one had ever slept on but her. The house was quiet — no creaking housekeeping carts passing by, muffled knocks on other doors, the sound of TV morning shows bleeding through thin walls. The furniture in this room was real wood, and so were the floors, the door, and the trim. She had a window seat and a closet where the hangers weren't attached to the bar. Her things were all still in boxes and bags piled up across from the bed, but not for long.

And there was no unpredictable man lying beside her or in the next room, able and willing to hurt her without any provocation. She didn't have to worry about what she was going to say that would set him off, make him hit her or call her names.

But the best part of all, besides there not even being the slightest chance that Ed would be parked outside waiting for her? The best part was the man sleeping across the hall from her, who may not be waking up next to her like she hoped he would be last night, but at least it seemed like maybe he wanted to. And she could live with that for now. She could live with the hope of maybe having more someday if things worked out.

She refused to think differently despite all the doubts and bad thoughts trying to creep in. She refused to think about the age gap, how freaking gorgeous he was, or how potentially disappointed he'd be when she "flopped around like a dying goldfish" if they ever had sex. That's what Ed had said the first time they had sex, and he'd laughed at her, and she pretended to herself that it was just affectionate teasing even after he started calling her "Goldie" all the time claiming it was just in fun. He tried to teach her how to be better, but really it was just humiliating even in the beginning, and then later it was humiliating and painful. But now she was wishing that she hadn't been so stubborn because she might have learned something. Maybe if she'd known at the time how many strippers he was fucking on the side, she might have trusted his credentials a little more.

All of this was bringing her down and she didn't want to feel bad anymore, so she got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. It was a pretty fantastic bathroom too, Daryl had added a dormer in the back similar to the one in the front to extend usable space out by another four feet in the bathroom and back bedroom. He was able to keep the old fashioned clawfoot tub in place and build a separate stand-up shower, and seeing the bottles of fancy bath oil and bath salts that Daryl bought for her sitting on a low shelf hanging over that tub filled her with all kinds of feelings. He was so thoughtful, so damn good to her.

She finished brushing her teeth and splashed some water on her face, planning on showering later once she'd unpacked more than just her toothbrush, and wandered down the stairs toward the kitchen. Then she had the bejesus scared out of her when she made a beeline for the coffee maker and a gravelly voice behind her said "mugs are in the cabinet to the left of the sink."

She spun around, her arm going up to block instinctively, her heart racing. He was sitting at the small table tucked against the wall by the doorway — she had walked right past him — calmly eating cereal and scrolling through something on his phone, wearing a pair of red plaid sleep pants and a ratty t-shirt that would probably be a little snug on her. Speaking of...

She was so absolutely positive that she was the only one awake that she hadn't put her jeans back on or unpacked any sleep clothes last night, opting rather to shuck her bra and pants and sleep in her ancient, tiny t-shirt and panties that she arrived in. So she was now standing flush against the kitchen counter on the other side of the room from the door, wearing only a boy's (size large!) t-shirt that ended somewhere above her hips, with cartoon mice on it and the caption "What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"

And a pair of Wonder Woman panties.

And he was drinking it all in with a pretty massive, satisfied grin on his face.

Her instinct was to panic, grab a dish towel, flee the room, die of embarrassment, but he was grinning at her, and he kept saying this was her house too, so she thought _fuck it_ and decided to own it. She gave him a steely-eyed glare then deliberately turned to the cabinet and reached up for a mug, balanced on her tiptoes and knowing damn well her shirt was riding up, then took the mug over to the new coffee-maker-slash-espresso-machine-slash-supercomputer and started the process of grinding the beans she found in an airtight container next to the machine.

There was dead silence behind her.

She got a shot of espresso brewing, then checked the fridge for milk but realized it was on the table next to his bowl so she calmly walked over to him and gestured at it. She was pretty sure he hadn't blinked since she went for the mug, and his mouth was hanging partially open, but he nodded at her. She turned back towards the machine while uncapping the milk and the cap slipped from her hand and rolled in front of her so she bent down to pick it up. There was a strangled sound behind her and the scrape of a chair then she heard him rapidly fleeing from the room, and then she spent a leisurely forty-five minutes or so enjoying her latte. She finished his bowl of cereal for him with the smuggest grin on her own face that she'd ever had.

 _DD: [[ she made coffee. In just a t-shirt and panties. An obscenely small pinky and the brain t-shirt. ]]_

 _DD: [[ Wonder Woman panties. ]]_

 _DD: [[ I think I'm dying. ]]_

 _GR: [[ same t-shirt from the picture? Yikes. That WAS a SMALL t-shirt ]]_

 _GR: [[ but the underwear seems out of character. ]]_

 _GR: [[ not the Wonder Woman part, just the not wearing pants part. ]]_

 _DD: [[ she didn't think I was awake I guess. And then was on the verge of a freak out about being caught like that but then just went with it. ]]_

 _GR: [[ because you were politely averting your eyes? ]]_

 _DD: [[ ehhhhh ]]_

 _DD: [[ Glenn, her skin is like a fucking pearl. All over. She goddamn glows. And her ass is like a ripe peach. Jesus Christ. I can't...How am I going to live with her and not touch her? ]]_

 _GR: [[ by thinking of Eugene getting a blowjob surrounded by teddy bears and pretty dollies? ]]_

 _DD: [[ that seems to be working ]]_

 _DD: [[ am I a bad person for wanting to tell Tara about all this? Just to torture her? ]]_

 _GR: [[ no, but keep in mind the consequences ]]_

 _DD: [[ Tara having an aneurysm? ]]_

 _GR: [[ Tara asking for a reenactment. Specifically asking CAROL for a reenactment, who will then know you were talking about her underwear. And her ass. ]]_

 _DD: [[ yep, this is why I keep you around. Voice of reason. ]]_

 _GR: [[ this is Maggie: if you get a chance, let me know what skin products she uses please. Brand and kind. Thanks. ]]_

 _DD: [[ goddammit Glenn. ]]_

 _DD: [[ did I mention she dropped the cap to the milk and bent down to pick it up? ]]_

 _GR: [[ Eugene's o face. Dollies. ]]_

 _DD: [[ yep, surprisingly effective. ]]_

He stayed in the shower for a long time but wasn't worried about using all the hot water. That wasn't an issue.

He then felt much better about the whole situation when he exited the bathroom as she was coming up the stairs, and she stopped dead in her tracks. He continued down the hall wearing just a towel, and she appeared to be hypnotized by the drops of water from his still-wet hair trailing down his chest and abdomen. He paused near his door, one hand resting on the doorknob and the other pushing his hair back, and he knew the towel had slipped down just a bit, hanging low on his hips.

"Eyes are up here," he said, smirking, and noticed her blush spread below her shirt collar. She blinked, then continued up the stairs and reached for the doorknob to her room. She gave him a blatantly assessing look then met his eyes. He was beginning to recognize this expression of hers, when one eyebrow was raised and her mouth was curled up into a smirk. It was her challenging expression, the one she got right before she called him on something or gave him hell, and he felt his dick stir a little at the prospect.

"Mmm," she purred, and he tried his damnedest to picture Eugene in the throes of an orgasm, but it wasn't working this time because she reached out to him and ran one finger from the hollow of his throat down to the top of the towel, letting it linger for a moment as goosebumps spread like wildfire over him. "And you do have such nice...eyes." She caught her bottom lip between her teeth while looking up at him with wide eyes, then she gave the doorknob a firm twist and disappeared into her room, laughing. He stood for a moment, banging his head against his door, wishing he was brave enough to follow her into her room but logic. Thoughts. Time. Bad. No. That's as coherent as he was able to be at the moment.

 **Nerd Club**

 **7:56 AM**

Daryl: I FUCKING HATE HER

Glenn: no you don't

Abraham: hahahaha

Abraham: what'd she do?

Tara: GOOD, THEN LEAVE HER FOR ME

Daryl: I DO, I HATE HER

Daryl: SHE'S THE DEVIL

Glenn: no she's not

Daryl: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S DOING TO ME

Glenn: well, I have some idea….

Abraham: you been holding out on us? What's going on?

Tara: OOOOOHHHHHH TELL!

Jesus: sweet little Carol is the devil? I don't believe it.

Glenn: did MORE happen?

Abraham: more than what?

Tara: WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND?

Daryl: Nothing.

Daryl: I ain't doing nothing, because every time I try she takes it one step further.

Daryl: she's fucking killing me.

Glenn: no she's not

Maggie: she kinda is.

Abraham: Maggie knows and you haven't told US?

Daryl: because Glenn lets her read all his texts

Glenn: not all of them… Shut up!

Maggie: PFFFF

Daryl: this morning started with her flouncing around the house in a miniscule t-shirt and Wonder Woman panties.

Glenn: now she was "flouncing"? Earlier she was making coffee.

Daryl: REGARDLESS

Tara: like what kind of panties? Boy shorts? Bikinis? The fake tighty whiteys with the banding that makes it look like there's a finger hole but really isn't? Those are THE WORST.

Jesus: finger hole?

Abraham: you mean the flap so we can piss without getting undressed? That isn't a "finger hole"

Tara: it is on a girl.

Glenn: Jesus, Tara

Jesus: gotta agree. ME, Tara.

Daryl: just regular panties, I don't know!

Tara: how high up did they sit? Full coverage in the back? I NEED TO KNOW

Daryl: low, and I guess.

Tara: bikinis. NICE

Tara: now let's get back to this "flouncing"...

Glenn: she didn't know he was awake and walked into the kitchen to make coffee, then almost freaked out when she realized he was there.

Daryl: but DIDN'T freak out. Instead she decided to reach for a mug on a high shelf, then bend over to pick up the cap to the milk. WHILE I WAS SITTING THERE

Glenn: in her defense, you did say you were sitting there ogling her.

Daryl: I never said "ogling"

Glenn: it was implied

Tara: so when she reached for the mug… Describe that.

Daryl: so picture a gorgeous woman in just this tiny little shirt and panties standing on her tiptoes trying to reach something high up, and the shirt is riding up REALLY FUCKING HIGH

Tara: oh, I'm picturing it.

Abraham: me too

Maggie: me too

Glenn: fuuuuuck

Daryl: then she walks over to you where you are innocently sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal and picks up the milk carton

Tara: no, call it a milk jug. A MILK JUG

Jesus: ME, Tara. ME.

Abraham: no, I'm with Tara on this one.

Maggie: me too

Glenn: OH MY GOD

Eugene: I must say, I am in agreement.

Daryl: you all are sick fucks, you know that?

Daryl: anyway, she picks up the MILK JUG and turns around to head back to the counter while unSCREWING the cap

Abraham: NICE

Daryl: and then drops it. Remember, she's facing away. So she bends down to pick it up.

Tara: OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST CAME

Abraham: holeeeee sheeeeet

Eugene: I am picturing this quite clearly, thank you.

Maggie: don't forget what you said about her ass

Tara: what did you say about her ass?

Abraham: what did you say about her ass?

Maggie: and her skin.

Daryl: she has an ass like a ripe peach. I'm not fucking kidding.

Tara: ohhhhh

Tara: I love peaches….

Abraham: I love asses

Jesus: as do I, my son

Jesus: perhaps in a different context though

Maggie: TELL THEM ABOUT HER SKIN

Daryl: Jesus, Maggie, you're obsessed with this

Maggie: I AM

Daryl: I don't remember what I said.

Maggie: yes you do and it was fucking poetic

Glenn: Do I need to c+p from my texts?

Daryl: fuck both of you

Maggie: Okay

Glenn: JESUS MAGGIE

Jesus: me too? Okay.

Daryl: she has skin like a pearl.

Maggie: "it fucking glows"

Maggie: you forgot that part

Tara: awwww, that's sweet. Now let's discuss all the different connotations of "pearl" and why you chose that particular word

Daryl: ?

Maggie: the clit is sometimes referred to as a pearl

Abraham: pearl necklaces

Eugene: Sperm. It's where "Pearl Jam" originated.

Tara: I love pearls. On the half shell. That's referring to vaginas.

Daryl: yeah, I got it. That's NOT what I meant

Maggie: no, you were only thinking of her as a precious gem

Daryl: /sigh Shut up.

Glenn: so you were fine just a half hour ago. What happened since?

Tara: THERE'S MORE?

Daryl: yeah.

Abraham: oh, son, it's barely 8am. You're fucking doomed.

Daryl: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. SHE'S THE DEVIL.

Glenn: What happened?

Daryl: after I ran away like a pussy, I went to take a shower. A very cold shower.

Tara: I'm going to ignore that implied insult to my vagina

Maggie: me too but don't let it happen again

Daryl: noted. Anyway, I got out of the shower and was walking back to my room in a towel

Jesus: describe the towel. How low did it sit? Full coverage? I NEED TO KNOW

Daryl: hahaha

Daryl: no.

Jesus: MOTHERFUCKER

Maggie: actually, I need you to go into some more detail as well.

Daryl: no

Maggie: remember how I read Glenn's texts?

Daryl: just a plain towel, gray. Full coverage, bath sheet size. Sat pretty low, I guess.

Jesus: how low?

Daryl: that's actually part of the story.

Jesus: HOW LOW

Daryl: uhh. Fuck. Around my hips?

Jesus: navel exposed or covered?

Daryl: exposed

Jesus: innie or outie?

Daryl: innie. What am I, a circus freak?

Eugene: I'm an outie.

Daryl: I'm shocked to hear that, Eugene. Shocked.

Tara: innie

Abraham: innie

Maggie: innie

Glenn: sorta half and half?

Jesus: innie

Jesus: wait, what?

Maggie: he ain't lyin'.

Jesus: I gotta see this

Maggie: are we all pausing while a trail of people swing by Glenn's cube to see his bellybutton?

Tara: that is exactly what happened. And that's incredible.

Jesus: interesting….

Jesus: now get back to your description of the towel.

Daryl: I don't know what else to say about it.

Jesus: paint me a picture with your words. I'm sure you're pretty fit? Nice abdominals?

Maggie: yes, yes they are.

Jesus: hair?

Maggie: thin little happy trail but very little on his pecs

Glenn: JESUS MAGGIE

Daryl: OH MY GOD MAGGIE

Jesus: oh, nice. Nipples?

Maggie: quarter size, dark pinkish brown. Little bit of hair.

Daryl: i feel.. I need a shower

Daryl: is this what we do to women?

Maggie: yep, so suck it up.

Jesus: good turn of phrase there.

Glenn: I'd be more horrified by this except I know that she'll be so worked up by the time I get home that I'll be getting whatever I want…

Maggie: oh, honey, I'm going to be in the parking lot at noon. You're taking lunch off-site today.

Tara: oooo, a "business lunch"? those are fun!

Jesus: STOP DISTRACTING HER

Jesus: GO ON MAGGIE

Maggie: amazing muscles, not really tan but more like a nice natural bronze. Scar from his right shoulder down to midline.

Daryl: ...

Glenn: Maggie, stfu now

Maggie: k

Tara: I don't understand what's going on

Glenn: let it go, Tara

Jesus: okay, before the mood is completely ruined, why don't you tell us what happened after you went walking down the hall in just a towel.

Daryl: she was coming up the stairs and stopped when she saw me.

Maggie: that's interesting.

Daryl: and my hair was still wet, so water was dripping down and she was staring at the water running down my stomach

Jesus: jesus

Maggie: oh yeah

Daryl: so I decided to fuck with her and let the towel slip a little

Daryl: and said my eyes were up here

Jesus: mmmhmm, go on

Maggie: how much is a little?

Daryl: enough.

Jesus: fully exposed Adonis belt?

Daryl: wtf is an Adonis belt?

Maggie: your hip muscles that make the v-shape

Daryl: oh. Yeah.

Jesus: goddamn

Daryl: and instead of freaking out LIKE SHE SHOULD HAVE, she made this yummy sound then ran her fucking finger from my neck down to the fucking towel, LEFT IT ON THE TOWEL, and said that I do have nice eyes.

Daryl: THEN SHE BIT HER FUCKING LIP AND RAN INTO HER ROOM GIGGLING

Abraham: top teeth, bottom lip, held it for a second so it got all plump?

Daryl: YES

Abraham: damn. She is the devil.

Tara: describe her "yummy sound" because that's spankbank material for me for the next month.

Daryl: just this "mmmm" sound

Maggie: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Maggie: oh god, I'm gonna love this woman

Abraham: go on…

Jesus: she ran her finger down from your neck, over your pecs, down your six pack, over your belly button and down your happy trail to the towel?

Daryl: yes.

Jesus: pad or nail?

Daryl: little of both. Gave me goosebumps.

Jesus: holy shit

Jesus: then left it on the towel?

Daryl: yeah, just resting on the top of the towel like she was considering doing something

Maggie: like pulling the towel off?

Jesus: like hooking her finger in the towel and giving it a tug?

Daryl: yes, exactly like that

Abraham: how hard were you at this point?

Daryl: half mast

Daryl: trying not to humiliate myself

Daryl: anymore than I already had

Abraham: you're a stronger man than I would be. I'm at half mast just thinking about her doing that.

Jesus: me too

Maggie: me too

Tara: me too

Eugene: nope, I'm full on.

Glenn: Maggie? I can get a break earlier if you want to swing by.

Daryl: so I'm not just telling all of you all this to have to relive the torture she's putting me through

Daryl: I needed you all to understand just how evil this woman is.

Tara: I am, right now, rethinking my plan to steal her from you. I don't know if I could handle that kind of teasing.

Daryl: I KNOW, RIGHT?

Daryl: you guys need to help me.

Daryl: I don't know what to do.

Abraham: fuck her

Tara: fuck her

Maggie: you need to fuck

Jesus: is there some reason why fucking isn't an option?

Glenn: you mean besides throwing yourself at her feet and begging her to marry you and then fucking her until she blacks out?

Daryl: you all know it's complicated

Jesus: doesn't seem that complicated to me, but then again, I'm a whore

Tara: what's complicated? She moved down here to live with you

Abraham: fuck complicated, and then fuck her

Glenn: guys. We're talking about Carol.

Jesus: right. Forgot. Marry her.

Tara: Carol, right. You need to woo her.

Abraham: yeah. Carol. Can't just fuck and run. This is serious.

Maggie: this is amazing. WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Glenn: When you meet her, you'll understand.

Daryl: so keeping in mind this is CAROL, what do I do?

Tara: nothing. She really does belong with me. I thought I couldn't handle the teasing, but I can. For Carol, I can.

Abraham: Tara's right, you have to woo her. Well, the first thing she said was right.

Eugene: You shouldn't do anything. She should make an educated decision once she meets all of us.

Jesus: I can't believe we're talking about the same woman. Are you sure that the one running around in her underwear and pulling down your towel is CAROL?

Maggie: Eugene's right, you need to let Rick have a crack at her. HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

Glenn: I love you Maggie

Daryl: Fucking Rick

Glenn: did you tell them what he did?

Tara: what did he do?

Abraham: Rick did something?

Maggie: oh my god, right. I forgot.

Tara: WHAT DID HE DO?

Daryl: he texted Carol while she was on her way here and told her that I lied about having a girlfriend then offered her his spare room to stay in.

Tara: NO!1!11!

Tara: HE DID NOT

Jesus: holy shit, really?

Abraham: now THAT is a dick move

Glenn: you never did tell me how all that worked out

Daryl: eh. She texted me as soon as she got his text, and I told her that I was going to tell her when she got here. Which was true.

Tara: how pissed was she?

Daryl: at me? Or at Rick?

Abraham: both

Daryl: at me, a little, but we worked it out. At Rick? Well, she's not happy, that's for damn sure.

Glenn: "worked it out"?

Daryl: don't wanna get into it.

Maggie: not an option

Tara: you need to tell us if you want our help

Abraham: yeah, that shit won't fly. Explain.

Jesus: confess, my child

Daryl: we talked. I told her stuff. She told me stuff. It got pretty emotional and that's how she ended up on my lap.

Maggie: emotional how? Like confessing your love to her?

Daryl: no, like talking about my childhood.

Maggie: oh.

Daryl: yeah.

Tara: ?

Daryl: and her talking about her marriage.

Maggie: oh.

Daryl: yeah.

Tara: ?

Tara: wtf is going on? I feel like you all are speaking in code.

Glenn: let it go, Tara

Daryl: just shitty circumstances that we both survived. Similar enough that we get each other, okay?

Tara: like abuse and shit? You said her husband beat on her?

Daryl: not really something I like to talk about, but yeah, abuse and shit.

Tara: the scar?

Daryl: yeah.

Daryl: got a bunch of them

Tara: I'm sorry Daryl. :(

Tara: not for asking. But for what happened to you.

Daryl: thanks. Don't want to talk about it any more, okay?

Tara: of course. But if you ever do, I'm here. I've got a few myself.

Daryl: :) thanks.

Daryl: not smiling because you got hurt, but like the whole bonding friend moment.

Tara: :) I know.

Abraham: (I feel like we should give them a few moments alone)

Tara: shut it, Abe

Daryl: so what am I going to do about Carol? How the fuck do I woo a woman that I work with, and now live with?

Jesus: you ARE kind of skipping around a bit.

Tara: yeah, I mean it's 1) work with her; 2) fall in love with her; 3) break up with her even though you weren't technically in a relationship; 3.5) pine away hopelessly for her until your friends want to smother you with a pillow; 4) decide to move in together; 4.5) finally see a picture of her; 5) meet each other in person; 6) full contact cuddling; 7) panty flashing; 8) towel dropping; 9) lip biting; 10) profit!

Maggie: you'll probably have sex before you actually kiss

Tara: done that

Jesus: done that

Abraham: done that

Daryl: ...

Daryl: thanks for pointing out all the ways our relationship is fucked up. Now how about helping me get it straightened out?

Maggie: I think I need to meet her first.

Tara: same

Abraham: yeah, we'll talk after Saturday

Eugene: I need to observe the two of you in your natural environment

Glenn: I hate to say it but I agree with Eugene

Jesus: I'll be your wingman.

Daryl: being my wingman doesn't involve seeing me in a towel.

Jesus: I'm with them, I'll let you know after Saturday.


End file.
